Monday, August 16, 2010

Expectations from your marriage


Having been married for over 11 years, I find it interesting that christians go into marriage without discussing expectations about their marriage, their roles and responsibilities. One party believes that the other party should know about his or her expectations.

But unconciously, a man dives headlong into marriage expecting the following:
  • that his wife should take care of him like his mother. He thinks his wife is his mother;
  • that his wife should forget about her career after marriage. He would be able to take care of the family on his own. Afterall, the Bible says that a man that can not take care of his household is worse than an infidel;
  • that for very important decisions, he would rather discuss with his friends instead of his wife. Afterall, a woman should just go along with the decisions made;
  • that it is only the woman that should know how to cook. So the woman must always be on hand to prepare the food. He cannot see himself going into the kitchen at all;
  • that he alone decides the number of children that he will have;
  • that the woman should be the spiritual initiator in the marriage. That is always the responsibility of the woman of the house;
  • that he can win a verbal war with his wife.
Some women also go into marriages believing the following:
  • that men will always cheat on them;
  • that marriage would cure them of loneliness;
  • that mother-in-laws were created to cause problems in their homes and they should not be tolerated;
  • that they are in the marriage for the children;
  • that they can manipulate their husbands with sex. Afterall men are the ones that can't do without sex.
  • that no relative of the husband would be allowed to stay in the house once they are married.
It is legitimate to have expectations but consider this:
  • are they based on God's word concerning marriages?
  • have you discussed this with your partner or prospective partner?
Please it would be advisable to discuss your expectations with your spouse and also understand his(her) own expectations. It will help the marriage.

4 comments:

  1. At least one of the above mentioned is an issue with almost all marriages but I've found that with God's mercy your eyes are opened and you begin to handle things with a spiritual maturity so even when you don't get what you rightfully expect from your christain partner God grants you the wisdom to handle it as only a true christain.Always expect the best and I got the best gift out of my marriage.If not for my husband I will not be rededicated to christ right now.

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  2. The wonderful thing about marriage is that both parties need to understand that they can be naked and not ashamed. Whatever they expect from thier marriage should be discussed with their partners. Communication is key.

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  3. Very well Said. Most christian pre-marital sessions are so "spiritual" they leave the soon to be married couple illprepared for their life ahead. Thanks FE

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  4. well said.very good reminder for us singles.thanks

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