On the Brink of Insanity: The Case of Janet Bond

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When it comes to life, people, jobs, and anything else that can play on my emotions, I have one simple rule - "the moment you start to act in an unbecoming manner, or you find yourself evolving into someone else, it's time to cut your losses and move on."

This rule has always worked for me; perhaps it is one of the reasons why people get frustrated with me when I don't rise to the occasion of anger, emotional outbursts of unnecessary slander, and fist fights. Nope, you would not catch me engaging in any of those. If I need to give a piece of my mind, I will do so as calmly as possible and be on my way. But of course you're not here to read about how I handle conflict or emotional displays of strife in my life. You are here to read about Janet Bond, and possibly find out who she is. No need to keep you in suspense- You are Janet Bond. You and the many other women who have let the failure of their relationships push them to the brink of insanity. 

I've always known that women are not exactly big fans of one another. Placing a seemingly superior woman in a room full of seemingly 'normal' women can turn the room green with envy. O yes, there is such a thing ass collective envy where women hate on someone they perceive as superior, not because she's a bad person but because you know... she swishes into the room like she owns the place and comes across as 'off-ish'. That really does not surprise me. It's not normal for me, but it's not surprising. What surprises me is the women who date and marry philandering men, or force men to be with them, and then proceed to stalk, threaten and possibly maim any other woman that man comes in contact with. Yes, those are the Janet Bonds... they can tell you how many parts per million of oxgen their man inhales in a day, and his resting heart rate. They check the car mileage to be sure he went to work and nowhere else; they divert his calls to their phone just so they can yell at any female voice on the other end. Yes, they actively seek out any woman they think might take their place, and proceed to announce that they are married to the man in question, and have no plans whatsoever of relinquishing their position. It doesn't matter if she's just his buddy or even a client; the lines must be drawn and she must know who calls the shots where the mister is concerned. 

*SIGH*

Dear Janet Bond, please stop! Stop before you go over the wall into full insanity. Stop before you end up in a psychiatric hospital chained to a bed, with doctors administering sedatives to keep you normal. Your public displays, stalking, and emotional tantrums are all you need to see that your relationship is not working. No, it's not because of his female friend or his female colleague. Its because he doesn't care enough for you and deep inside you know it. 

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How The Silent Treatment Slowly Destroys Relationships

It is a popular tactic; when your partner misbehaves, says something unpleasant or refuses to bend to your will when you need him or her to, the silent treatment is regarded as the relationship saver. It notifies your partner of your displeasure without you using any words, gets your partner into an apologetic mode and eventually gets you what you want- lots of attention and perhaps even gets your partner to bend to your desires. The silent treatment is definitely a winner when it is first applied. However, with time, its charm starts to wear off, it loses its hold, and it soon becomes a useless tool in your toolbox. 

Many people fail to realize when the silent treatment has lost its charm. They keep applying it like a master tool to all situations, until they eventually find themselves at opposite ends of the room with their partners, unable to utter a word of reconciliation. Then they wonder, 'how did things get so bad?'

Many of us do not understand that the silent treatment works perfectly at first because our partners are trying to please us, bring us out of our misery and show us the relationship is worth fighting for. It gets tiring if every time something goes wrong, we retire into misery and wait for them to come and pull us out of it. It is like having a constant need of assurance, and an air of self-importance- believing your partner has to come to your corner to relate with you, as opposed to both of you meeting each other halfway. It is exhausting, irritating and probably the most immature technique ever applied to solving relationship issues. 

Have you tried talking? It works wonders! Telling your partner what he or she did to hurt you, trying to see reason, apologizing and getting past the issue at hand is the best thing you can ever do to solve your relationship issues. Of course there are times when silence will work....perhaps you're extremely angry and wouldn't like to say anything you'll eventually regret, then it makes sense to take a couple of hours to cool off. What's not cool is keeping silent for days and treating your partner like a stranger. Before you know it, it becomes a habit, and you find yourself living with someone you used to know. 

Six Ways to Help a Friend's Struggling Marriage

It's common to know someone whose marriage is in trouble and to be unsure how to help.

Here are 6 practical ways you can help.

1. Pray for them. Ask God to intervene in their marriage. Ask God to give you and others wisdom to know how to help. Pray in their presence as well as when alone. Send emails and note cards of encouragement.

2. Listen. Listening doesn't mean simply hearing. It involves empathizing, seeking to understand and expressing genuine interest.

3. Don't give advice. Your main job is listening. Leave the advice giving to a Pastor, Counselor or Mentor.

7 Relationship Problems and How to Solve Them - Carol Sorgen

Here's how to resolve the most common relationship problems and get your love life back on track.

It's the rare couple that doesn't, sooner or later, run into a few bumps in the road. If you recognize ahead of time what those relationship problems can be, you'll have a much better chance of weathering the storm, experts say.

Ideally, a couple should discuss certain basic issues -- such as money, sex, and kids -- before they decide to start their life together. Of course, even when you do discuss these issues beforehand, marriage is nothing like you think it's going to be.

In spite of the fact that every marriage experiences relationship issues, successful couples have learned how to manage them and keep their love life going, says marriage and family therapist Mitch Temple, MS, author ofThe Marriage Turnaround. They gain success in marriage by hanging in there, tackling problems, and learning how to maneuver through the complex issues of everyday married life. Many do this by reading self-help books, attending seminars, browsing articles on the Web, going to counseling, observing other successful couples, or simply by trial and error.

Here are some common issues and ways to resolve them: