Working With Purpose Partners

Everyone has a purpose; it just takes us some time to figure out why we have been placed here on earth. However, not everyone succeeds at their purpose, and you wonder why. If you have been created to achieve a certain task, shouldn't things fall into place and wok out in one of those unbelievable testimony type of ways? Well, not really.

If you intend to discover and succeed at your purpose, you have to surround yourself with your purpose partner. Too often, many people fail to figure out their purpose much less excel at it because they have surrounded themselves with the wrong people. They have surrounded themselves with naysayers (i.e. people who see the problem with every idea and are always keen to point out why it won't work); they have surrounded themselves with people who don't want to hurt their feelings or critique their work (i.e. yes-men); they have surrounded themselves with the pity party hosts and hostesses; they have surrounded themselves with the association of life complainants. I could go on and on... but you get the gist.

If you want to succeed at your purpose, you need to develop the habit of forming strategic relationships rather than aimless friendships. You need to locate the people around you who are for your purpose. It is important to understand right now that some of your friends may be on your side but not necessarily support your purpose. They may want you to succeed, to be happy, to reach a point in your life where you are satisfied with who you are, but they may not understand your purpose. You can share your dreams with them but they just won't get. They might say "Oh that's a great idea!" But they won't do anything to help you take it further.

There are other people in your life who are for your purpose and your purpose only. They understand your mission and they are there to ensure the mission is accomplished. They are not interested in what you do during your leisure hours with yourself, and they can't be bothered if you reach a point of satisfaction. They simply want to make sure the purpose is achieved! There are others in your life who are both friends and purpose partners, and that of course is the best of all. They help you take your purpose further, they pray with you, and they are concerned with you flourishing personally...but hey when you flourish in your purpose, your life will flourish too.

It's never too early to start working out who your purpose partners are, and it is never too late either. As long as your are breathing, you still have a shot at it. Stop spending all your time and energy on aimless friendships. Instead, start working with people who are in tune with God's will for your life. Every relationship you nurture is important. Make sure you're nurturing the right ones. XOXO

The Fear of the Will of God

How many times have you been told to let God plan your life and immediately had a mini panic attack? How many times has someone said to you "May the will of God be done regarding your plans" and you struggled to say "Amen". How many times did you say "Amen" then went quickly to a quiet corner to prayerfully enforce and establish your plans? How often have you hesitated in saying the words "May your will be done in my life God"? If any of these questions apply to you, I am here to inform you that you have divine will phobia. 

It is natural for most people to worry at the thought of following God's perfect will. What if God decides to take you from a palace and make you lead some grumpy and ungrateful people through the wilderness? What if God decides you should be sold into slavery and even go to jail for a crime you did not commit just for his will to come to pass in your life? What if God's will has your thrown in a den of lions and instead of shutting the mouths of the lions, they jump at you immediately and tear you apart? So many what-ifs creep into our minds when we think about the will of God, that it immediately sends us into panic mode. We start to enforce Matthew 7:7 that says we should ask and we shall be given. And later on in the chapter, Jesus said no father will give his child a stone when he asks for bread, or give him a snake in place of a fish... so we believe that by establishing our desires in prayer, we are escaping the stones and snakes God might have in store for us. 

That is what the Scriptures mean when they say, "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.

But you see what I've come to realize is that the fear of the will of God is a fear that has been planted in our hearts by the devil. It has been supported by his lies that our plans are much better, and a sense of self-assurance that says we know best and our plans must come to pass. That is because Satan knows that God has amazing plans for our lives, and the best way to destroy those plans is to make us feel we must be in control and things must play out the way we want. Satan feeds our ego when we proudly tell people that we are in charge of our lives. It feels good to say we are living our lives by our own design, not by the design of a God we call on but cannot trust because he might just send us to the dungeon in line with His will. 

As the time turned from December 31 2015 to January 1 2016, God laid a verse on my heart:

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

This was the verse I received while I prayed against the confusion and battles I faced. God's plans for us are GOOD. They are designed to give us hope and A FUTURE. If it was only hope, one might say "yeah whatever. Hope deferred makes the heart sick". But we also have a future which highlights that our hopes in line with God's plans for us will be fulfilled. The plans of God are to PROSPER us, not to leave us in slavery or in a dungeon. He wants to prosper us and bless us! He wants us to be happy and fulfilled. But Satan wants us to believe God's will is not enough. He wants us to think if we are thrown in prison, God will never come to our rescue. He wants us to think if we are thrown in the lion's den, the lions will tear us apart. He wants us to think God will not show up. Afterall, the Israelites were in slavery for hundreds of years. Where was God? 

God did show up! And when he did, it was GLORIOUS. Trust God's will. Trust His power. God will show up! His plans are perfect and designed to bring peace and prosperity in all our ways. Let God's will be established in your life and watch how work becomes fun, and life even with its ups and downs feels like a good day at a theme park. God will never leave you void and He will never let you fall. Even when you fail, his grace will come like a wave. Even when you rebel, He will not abandon you in prison or slavery. He will not let the enemy rejoice over you. His will is to prosper you, give you hope and a future. Isn't it worth it to leave your life in His hands? Have a blessed week. XOXO

Of Queues,Pregnancies, Purpose And Life

PhotoCredit: www.lifehack.org

I detested queues. Queues used to make me get really uneasy. I used to pant and pace about like a dog that has lost trail of its owner whenever I had to stay on a queue, but lately I have had to think very deeply about respecting the order it brings. I am also at that place where I can acknowledge that it teaches patience, tolerance and respect for fellow humans. I am learning to respect the process that birth brilliant results seeing as everyone gets their turn in the long run.

This experience with queues is reflective of some aspects of our lives as humans; we can get quite impatient in our life’s journey. We feel like things are not going the way that we desire for them to go for us. I remember a friend once told me that she is sure what she was working on was what God intended for her but she just couldn’t understand why things were dragging and not particularly adding up. Instances such as that cause our faith to falter. The disappointments we encounter make us want to throw in the towel, making us wonder if there is something we are doing wrongly. Imagine how the Israelites felt in the wilderness, many of them rebelled and some even desired to go back to Egypt.

In my reflection, I have come to admire God’s way of planning ahead and making sure our experiences fortify us. The story of David comes to mind here. David after being anointed to be the king went through many tribulations and was almost killed by Saul. I am sure there were times he would have wondered if the unction upon him was a genuine one. He must have almost given up hope when he had to run away for his dear life, but he stuck it through and he was able to mount the throne and fulfil his purpose.

There are many jokes about how life catches up with us making us lose sight of our dreams and purpose, but that is not supposed to be.  When we are walking in line with God’s plan for our lives, disappointments are not necessarily disappointments. Most times, God builds our character through what we perceive as trials and tribulations. This isn’t to say we should be docile but this is to remind us that we must never forget to learn the intended lessons in our setbacks.

Visions, like pregnancy, go through stages from conception to the several stages of foetal development and then it is finally birthed. Like a pregnant woman, there will be period of uneasiness but you need to keep your mind set on the goal. Every stage is important and you need to be careful not to be in a rush to birth your vision so as not to end up with all the complications that may be connected to the time not being ripe. Moreso,so as not to end up stifling the life out of your vision.

Hold on tight to that dream, respect the process, and learn the intended lessons. Don’t force it when the time isn’t ripe. Trust me, it's all going to work together for your good.

Rock on soldier.

May God be with you.

Can One Love Another Deeply Without Spending Money?

Photo Credit:www.asklizweston.com

Nollywood has a number of films with the common theme of love and materialism. The protagonist deliberately refrains from showering a girl he loves with gifts to test if she is materialistic or not. In some of those movies, the girl passes the test and in others, she dumps him for lack of ‘patience’ thereby losing an ‘ultimate chance to becoming the wife of a wealthy man’. There are also the ones where women discover that their husbands married them only for material gains.

Now, should this be reason enough not to want to spend on one’s intending lover? Could it be that a ‘stingy’ lover is just being careful or is just not in love enough to part with his/her money?

However way you look at it, these are valid questions and there are many more begging for answers. Does the giving or exchanging of gifts deepen the love a man or woman may feel? Can one love another deeply without parting with money or material?

Sincerely, I think we are so fixated on guarding our hearts sometimes that we fail to feel love for what it is. Love is a beautiful feeling and it finds expression in everything we do. Love can be found on the lips of a lover fondly calling his beloved in a way only he can. It could be long stares that tell stories of fondness and attraction. Some say it is the rumbling feeling one feels at the bottom of one’s stomach upon sighting that special person. I think it surpasses that. It is that feeling that makes one want to try new grounds and go to lengths never travelled. Love, we are told, isn’t self-seeking. It is gentle; it is very generous. It is as generous with affection as it is with material things.

My Number One Tip for Winning At Love

There was a time I was inundated with questions about winning at love and finding happiness with someone else. I had to admit at that time, I had no idea what the formula for winning at love was. Was it based on preferences of the individuals involved? Did fate bring them together? Did cupid help out by aligning their paths? Were they textbook perfect for each other? Did they follow a manual? And if yes, what manual was it and where could one get it? For a very long time I pondered over the subject and almost gave up before realizing the answer had been before my very eyes all along. 

I have friends who are happily married - yes really, I mean HAPPILY married. Yes, they have the occasional arguments and the debates that cause them to sit on opposite sides of the fence, but somehow they always found a way to work it out and stick together stronger than before. How did they manage to build such a solid marriage? They started from when they were single. 

You see these days, many people are focused more on the desperation to find someone to be with than they are on themselves. Many people are so desperate to find partners to avoid being ostracized by society that they would accept anything from anyone just to seal the deal. And that right there is the reason people fail at this thing called love. If you are desperate, chances of winning are slim; if you are nonchalant, chances of winning are also slim. My number one tip is to find the perfect balance between loving yourself and genuinely expressing your emotions towards others. 

I learned from my happily married friends that the more you love yourself as a single person, the slimmer the chances of someone coming along to take you for granted or mistreat you. The more you love yourself as a single individual, the better your knowledge of yourself, the things that make you happy, and the kind of person you want to share your life with. But even that is not enough to help you win at love. If anything, overdoing it can make you conceited and selfish, defeating the purpose altogether. You need to be genuine in your expressions with other. Many unhappy people 'in love' bite their tongues more often than they should and hide their expressions more often than they can manage. They avoid topics that should be discussed and swallow their anger till they become a walking ball of fury. Why? They were not genuine from the start. They overlooked things that made them fume, and suppressed anger when it should have been expressed. With time, irrespective of how far the relationship progresses, the cracks begin to show and the negative emotions start to ooze out. 

If you truly want to win at love, first love yourself like you are the only person on earth who can make you happy. Secondly, be genuine in your expressions. Don't carry emotional baggage with you. Genuinely express how you feel to the person you're with, and give yourself a good shot at this love goal. XOXO

Covenant Christian Centre presents a marriage seminar titled "To have and to hold" - 15th October

Covenant Christian Centre is presenting a marriage seminar titled, "To Have And To Hold". The seminar will take place simultaneously at two venues - Covenant Place, Iganmu and Covenant Chapel, Lekki

The topics to be discussed are:

1. Winning together at all times
2. The relevance of intimacy in Christian marriage

There will be a panel session to discuss general marriage topics

Time: 9.am - 12 noon
Date: 15 October 2016

Four Things Every Mother Has To Know

4.00am in the morning and I was back in the shower for the second time in five hours.  For someone that thinks morning baths are a huge bother, bathing twice in the middle of the night is a feat.

How did that happen? You’d ask.

Well, my daughter sometimes gets uncomfortable sleeping alone, so she has formed a habit of getting out of her crib to sleep beside me. We are trying to permanently stop her from using diapers and that automatically meant several bathroom runs before dawn most times. She however has been showing decent improvement in knowing she has to wake up to go to the toilet when pressed but she still makes mistakes and one of those mistakes was on my bed and body. Her younger brother who also sleeps beside me picked that same night to puke on me just as I was trying to make him burp.

It sounds like a lot right?

Well, let’s just say no one has the complete manual to this thing called motherhood. Every woman’s journey is unique in its own way and these days I feel the need to salute other women I come across juggling their day to day activities while still keeping it together at the home-front. I probably need to come up with a catchy phrase like ‘I see you comrade’.

Much as I believe that we all have unique journeys, there are some tips that spread across the mothersville and so, can come in handy for mums; new and old. They are as shared below:

Time isn't your friend: You probably have realized that things have changed from when it was just you alone. The things you needed an hour to prep for would take you more minutes because you have to look after those precious little humans that are yours too. There will be lots of unforeseen delays, so it will do you much good to realize that Time has grown fitter and faster legs. To stay productive, you need to be more conscious of time. To meet deadlines and to help with your punctuality, You can learn different hacks that may reduce your prep time . Also consider that they may be lots of uncertainties, so it may be in your interest to add additional minutes to your prep time. that way, you won't end up showing up for work in two different shoes or with badly prepared presentation.

Do not beat yourself up: It is alright not to know and it is also totally alright to get frustrated sometimes. Mistakes will be made, you will wonder if your child caught a cold because you felt too tired to shut down the window. Some aspects of your life may suffer but just breathe through it and give yourself some credit. There are some things that you just won’t have control over. Just learn to breathe through it. It is not always your fault.

Don't refuse good help: Many mothers feel like superhumans and with all we read and watch in the media, it is so easy to be paranoid about many things. Keep in mind however that there are good people that can still help with some things, thereby saving you some time and making you more productive. There are good agencies that have good background checks in place thereby making those you get through them less dangerous and mysterious. Families are also great helps if they stay around you. You can also have monitors installed around your house to keep you abreast of activities when you are not home. 

Pay attention to yourself: My dear, I know it sometimes seem like the society is asking too much of you. You will be judged for your children not looking neat enough, fed enough or smart enough. People will make comments not minding how much pressure you might have put upon yourself. In the middle of all these, you can fast forget about that hairdresser’s appointment or that you haven’t bad breakfast. Whatever you do, don’t forget to pay attention to yourself.  Consciously show up for yourself. There will be times that you will feel crazily overwhelmed. You may want to scream or just give up. Your dresses may be sizes up and you may be tempted to give up on your career dreams. Having and taking care of children isn’t easy but you need to remind yourself constantly that your happiness also matters. If being slimmer will make you happy, by all means squeeze some time to make this happen.  Above the ‘beautiful chaos’ that may be your life, listen to yourself and give yourself some well deserved love.

Like I said earlier, everyone's journey is unique but we all can learn from one another. Kindly share more tips that work for you below, let's get better together.