Thursday, October 13, 2016

Can One Love Another Deeply Without Spending Money?

Nollywood has a number of films with the common theme of love and materialism. The protagonist deliberately refrains from showering a girl he loves with gifts to test if she is materialistic or not. In some of those movies, the girl passes the test and in others, she dumps him for lack of ‘patience’ thereby losing an ‘ultimate chance to becoming the wife of a wealthy man’. There are also the ones where women discover that their husbands married them only for material gains.

Now, should this be reason enough not to want to spend on one’s intending lover? Could it be that a ‘stingy’ lover is just being careful or is just not in love enough to part with his/her money?

However way you look at it, these are valid questions and there are many more begging for answers. Does the giving or exchanging of gifts deepen the love a man or woman may feel? Can one love another deeply without parting with money or material?

Sincerely, I think we are so fixated on guarding our hearts sometimes that we fail to feel love for what it is. Love is a beautiful feeling and it finds expression in everything we do. Love can be found on the lips of a lover fondly calling his beloved in a way only he can. It could be long stares that tell stories of fondness and attraction. Some say it is the rumbling feeling one feels at the bottom of one’s stomach upon sighting that special person. I think it surpasses that. It is that feeling that makes one want to try new grounds and go to lengths never travelled. Love, we are told, isn’t self-seeking. It is gentle; it is very generous. It is as generous with affection as it is with material things.

While it is wrong to be in or leave a relationship because one’s partner has or doesn’t have money to spend, the role of money as a beautiful accessory that adorns relationships cannot be overemphasised. The exchange of gifts show that you are in your lover’s thoughts and such show of thoughtfulness can deepen fondness. The essence of why we spend money on those that are important to us isn’t to be forgotten too, it really is about sacrifice. As naturally selfish beings, parting with our money is a show of sacrifice. Just the same way parting with our time to spend it with someone special is a big deal.

Love is really about our actions and many times it is expressed through giving. It is mostly demonstrated rather than said, as seen in the Almighty God who gave us His only son, Jesus Christ, to show just how deeply He loves us. If you have the money and you feel the need to buy a thoughtful gift for someone you love, then go ahead. You can’t be too careful and calculating in love, if the person you extend your love to takes you for granted, then, it is the person’s fault.

Also, remember that money cannot buy love or loyalty but refraining from spending it if you have it speaks a lot about your own insecurity.

Money's not everything, so it makes no sense if the only reason you are in a relationship with a person is because of financial and material gains because your happiness should mean so much more to you.

However, it is absolutely possible to love another deeply without spending money but that is if such person is broke and you can tell by other acts of sacrifice that such person truly cares about you.


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