Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Can You Play Safe In Love?

Being in a world where it is easier to discover the existence of another planet than it is to know what goes on in another man’s mind means that love is one of the biggest gambles we’d ever take as humans. The mystery of it all and not knowing how fair or not love would be to us, reflects a lot on how we conduct ourselves and our affairs generally.

In fact, if we could build walls of steel around our hearts and secure it with bronze padlocks and gates bearing large captions for trespassers to KEEP OFF; perhaps, we’ll record greater luck in love. The stress of having to break the walls or the risk of being bitten by ferocious guard dogs may deter the players among us, who have no regard for emotions of fellow humans from perpetrating devilish heartbreaks.

Much as we might have wished for there to be some form of mathematics involved (and maybe there really may be ways people can be manipulated to behave in certain ways) but the truth remains that no one can ever truly tell if who he loves will love him back at all or if such person will love him back in the same measure. This uncertainty that comes with falling in love breeds one of the deepest issues in relationships. The inability to let ourselves go totally in love puts us on edge and starts to breed insecurity.

We start to wonder if we have let our guards off too much or for too long. We become so calculated in our actions. Love degenerates to a game.
‘He should be the one calling me now because I called two times already’
‘I can’t risk letting her know that I love her that much, less she starts to take me for a fool’
‘I can’t tell her that I love her before she tells me’
‘He is too smooth, I can’t trust him’
While some of our worries may be valid, many times they are not. We need to reprogram our minds and just take love for what it is; a pure and selfless emotion. If we are so focused on being loved back in certain ways, we unconsciously mar the beauty of it all.

 Hearts are broken and mended every day, so one or a few failures at love shouldn’t be the reason for one to hold back when with someone new. Don’t be afraid of letting yourself go or being taken for a fool. Who cares who calls who, long as you are both happy? There will be temptations to hold back and take stock of who has done what but your insecurity shouldn't be given room to grow. 

Whatever you decide, bear in mind that it is alright to be vulnerable in love, let your guard down sometimes. An African proverb says if you shut your eyes hoping to ignore bad people, the good ones will also pass you by . Playing it safe takes the beauty out of it. Bask in the beauty of the 'no holds barred' kind of love. There is always that special person that wouldn't throw your love in your face.

N.B: This does not apply to you if you are in an abusive relationship or with someone that doesn'tt care about you at  all.If you are in an abusive relationship, you need help. If your partnerdoesn't' care  at all, then you need to leave, Your love alone cannot sustain your relationship, there has to be two people on board for the relationship to work.


  1. While you're right I still strongly advise playing it safe at first. Kinda like wearing a rubber the first few times until you trust her or him. You feel me?

    1. Kinda wearing a rubber suggests pre-marital sex. We do not advise pre-marital sex. It is against God's word and it destroys relationships. We preach abstinence.


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