Thursday, October 6, 2016

Four Things Every Mother Has To Know

4.00am in the morning and I was back in the shower for the second time in five hours.  For someone that thinks morning baths are a huge bother, bathing twice in the middle of the night is a feat.

How did that happen? You’d ask.

Well, my daughter sometimes gets uncomfortable sleeping alone, so she has formed a habit of getting out of her crib to sleep beside me. We are trying to permanently stop her from using diapers and that automatically meant several bathroom runs before dawn most times. She however has been showing decent improvement in knowing she has to wake up to go to the toilet when pressed but she still makes mistakes and one of those mistakes was on my bed and body. Her younger brother who also sleeps beside me picked that same night to puke on me just as I was trying to make him burp.

It sounds like a lot right?

Well, let’s just say no one has the complete manual to this thing called motherhood. Every woman’s journey is unique in its own way and these days I feel the need to salute other women I come across juggling their day to day activities while still keeping it together at the home-front. I probably need to come up with a catchy phrase like ‘I see you comrade’.

Much as I believe that we all have unique journeys, there are some tips that spread across the mothersville and so, can come in handy for mums; new and old. They are as shared below:

Time isn't your friend: You probably have realized that things have changed from when it was just you alone. The things you needed an hour to prep for would take you more minutes because you have to look after those precious little humans that are yours too. There will be lots of unforeseen delays, so it will do you much good to realize that Time has grown fitter and faster legs. To stay productive, you need to be more conscious of time. To meet deadlines and to help with your punctuality, You can learn different hacks that may reduce your prep time . Also consider that they may be lots of uncertainties, so it may be in your interest to add additional minutes to your prep time. that way, you won't end up showing up for work in two different shoes or with badly prepared presentation.

Do not beat yourself up: It is alright not to know and it is also totally alright to get frustrated sometimes. Mistakes will be made, you will wonder if your child caught a cold because you felt too tired to shut down the window. Some aspects of your life may suffer but just breathe through it and give yourself some credit. There are some things that you just won’t have control over. Just learn to breathe through it. It is not always your fault.

Don't refuse good help: Many mothers feel like superhumans and with all we read and watch in the media, it is so easy to be paranoid about many things. Keep in mind however that there are good people that can still help with some things, thereby saving you some time and making you more productive. There are good agencies that have good background checks in place thereby making those you get through them less dangerous and mysterious. Families are also great helps if they stay around you. You can also have monitors installed around your house to keep you abreast of activities when you are not home. 

Pay attention to yourself: My dear, I know it sometimes seem like the society is asking too much of you. You will be judged for your children not looking neat enough, fed enough or smart enough. People will make comments not minding how much pressure you might have put upon yourself. In the middle of all these, you can fast forget about that hairdresser’s appointment or that you haven’t bad breakfast. Whatever you do, don’t forget to pay attention to yourself.  Consciously show up for yourself. There will be times that you will feel crazily overwhelmed. You may want to scream or just give up. Your dresses may be sizes up and you may be tempted to give up on your career dreams. Having and taking care of children isn’t easy but you need to remind yourself constantly that your happiness also matters. If being slimmer will make you happy, by all means squeeze some time to make this happen.  Above the ‘beautiful chaos’ that may be your life, listen to yourself and give yourself some well deserved love.

Like I said earlier, everyone's journey is unique but we all can learn from one another. Kindly share more tips that work for you below, let's get better together.

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