Tuesday, February 5, 2013

What is Cheating Really???

What is Cheating really?
Recently I read an article on Huffington Post that got me thinking on what people really think cheating is.

The definition seems to vary depending on who you ask. Of the 2,700 U.S. singles surveyed, both genders (95 percent of men and 100 percent of women) agreed that having sex with another person was an act of infidelity.

However, all of the women polled (100 percent) thought that sharing a passionate kiss counted as cheating, but only 86 percent of men felt the same ( I wonder if the conscience in the remaining 14 is still alive). And though more than 80 percent of women felt that texting or online flirting were unfaithful acts, only 56 percent of men agreed. Men and women also differed when it came to whether or not an emotional relationship constituted as cheating, with 55 percent of men and 77 percent of women deeming emotional connections an infidelity.

Christian and Jewish singles agreed in many of their definitions of cheating. Almost all respondents of both religions -- 99 percent of Christians and 98 percent Jews-- agreed that a passionate kiss is an act of cheating. Roughly the same percentage of Christians and Jews -- 68 percent and 67 percent, respectively -- believe having an emotional relationship counts as cheating.

The main differences between the two religious groups? 44 percent of Christians said that watching porn was an act of infidelity, while only 24 percent of Jews agreed. 43 percent of Christians thought that going to a strip club constituted cheating, and only 20 percent of Jews thought the same.

Let me start off with porn, the fact that a person watches pornography means he or she is patronizing an industry that propagates sexual perversion and immorality in general. By looking at pictures or videos of other naked women, you are indirectly telling your wife that her body is not good enough for you. You might argue that it is but you are stirring up the desire for surgically enhanced bosoms and bodies in general making your wife feel insecure about her own image.

In this day and age, most of us have friends of the opposite sex, whether they are co-workers, casual acquaintances or close confidantes. The question is: how close is too close when you're in a romantic relationship with someone else? If you buy new clothes or change your hairstyle and wonder what he'll think (instead of how your husband will react), that's a danger sign. We all consider our audience when we're getting ready to go out, but doing so with a particular person in mind, who is not your husband or wife suggests there's something more here than meets the eye, it's as simple as that.

The man or woman who is in an emotional relationship with another woman but does not indulge in sex or any other physically intimate activity might think he is not cheating. But an emotional affair can be just as bad as a physical one because you are slowly making space for another person in a place that should only be for your husband or wife.

With all the forms of electronic communication one needs to know where to draw the line. It is dangerous for a woman or man to form the habit of engaging in long chats over Facebook  Blackberry Messenger, Whattsapp or any other medium with a person of the opposite sex while in bed with his or her wife. While on the surface it may seem as if there is nothing wrong, if you begin to look forward to these chats and keep checking your laptop, phone or any other device, then that is a sign of trouble. When the balance of who you communicate with tips away from your spouse towards someone else, it's a sure sign of trouble. Once one is married or even engaged, certain boundaries must be set if you really value your spouse and your marriage as a whole!

As Christians, we are instructed to flee from every appearance of sin, not dance around it, FLEE!!! This gives the enemy little or no room to tempt us.

Ijema Olujekun

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