Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Dated Him for Years And He Married Someone Else?

Dated Him but now married to someone else
After being in a relationship with a guy for years he married someone else! Behind your back! Many ladies don't discuss this but it happens more often than you might think. A guy and a girl date for several years only for her to stumble upon his wedding invitation or his face (and the face of his bride) on a wedding souvenir. Yes he is set to wed or already wedded some girl you never even knew existed. Suddenly you know why his calls have been few and far between, that's why he didn't come back to apologise after that slight misunderstanding...it all makes sense.

Then what happens next? You cry yourself to sleep and wonder if you weren't pretty enough, smart enough or caring enough. This introspection can be valuable but often it only leads to a downward spiral of self pity, further hate for mankind and then a numbness! I can tell you for free - Human beings are unpredictable. But an old adage says "If you close your eyes because you do not want to see bad people, a good person will pass while your eyes are closed" 

Many times, when things go wrong or difficulties come, instead of seeing our distress as a blessing, we view it as trouble and become angry. In doing this we run the risk of missing what God has for us to learn. Was God trying to get your attention all along? Did you miss the signs?

Instead of taking time to pray and seek God about the matter, we run to others in an effort to validate our feelings or solve the situation (need I mention all the time you spend cursing this fellow in your heart?)

God wants us to learn how to trust Him completely. Total trust in God and his omnipotence and omniscience help you see that all things work together for those who love God and are called according to his purpose. Just because something bad happens does not mean we have done something wrong or human race is evil. Maybe, God simply wants to teach us how to listen for the Holy Spirits guidance and trust in his will.

Life is crazy sometimes, and unpleasant things happen. It's hard to trust, it's hard to love, it might be hard to just move on. There are so many men and women who have gone through bad experiences that have led them to say "All men are the same." Are they? With 7.068 billion people on planet earth and nine million bicycles in Beijing so don't let one person, or a few persons make you give up on humanity.

Just as there is a season set aside for blessing, there will be times when we face difficulty and unhappiness. We may love the sunny days, but often it is in the hard times, that we grow stronger in our faith and more focused on the Lord and His will for us through this we have a chance to mature and the experience becomes enriching. 

Are you a single mum who feels that all men are worthless or a girl who has been heartbroken or a man who has been betrayed? Does it feel as though you have pulled up beside the waters of Marah—waters that are bitter and fearful? If so, refuse to grumble or speak a word of anger and regret wipe every tear and tell yourself how special you are. Release whoever it may be from the consequences of their guilt and go and get your hair done. Learn from Israel’s mistakes and recall the goodness of your God and He will provide enough sweet water to satisfy your thirsty soul.

“Moses cried out to the Lord, and the Lord showed him a tree; and he threw it into the waters, and the waters became sweet” (Exodus 15:25).

Ijeoma Olujekun


  1. This write-up really bless and encourages me

  2. Have been there just recently, its not easy, its soo hard and so painful and it still hurts, i dont talk about it to anyone coz no one understands, they say just move on, its not easy, it feels as if am stuck, i try to be strong and move on but am so afraid to get into a relationship, so afraid to get hurt again, sometimes i foolishly hope his marriage fails and he comes back to me, i know he dosent deserve me but i know in my heart if he were to come back i would forgive him in a heartbeat

  3. An eye opener. This post is a word to us all. Not all is lost. God is still in control. Amen.

  4. Quite an interesting piece..how do I become a contributor to d blog...I'm a writer whose particular niche is in the field of relationship success. I wish to contribute articles to d page.Thanks...if u don't mind u can e-mail me d details on hw to go abt it. Samuelalino@yahoo.com

    1. Hi. You can reach us at covenantrelationships@gmail.com. Thanks

  5. This is an eye opener....low self esteem is biggest contributor to not finding true love.

  6. No, men ARE the same. Been burned SO MANY MANY TIMES I have learned NEVER to trust men again. IT WILL NEVER CHANGE.


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