Saturday, February 2, 2013

Tough Love Is Real Love

Tough Love is Real Love
Many will agree that sparing the rod spoils the child. Our parents disciplined us and this is what brought about correction and inner reversal of folly. The immediate discomfort we might experience, our tears, our pleas never deterred them from correcting us. Then we grew up and became independent and somehow life, Hollywood and our desire for convenience has made us forget what true love really is.

You see wives and even girlfriends get beaten black and blue by men who say they love them and they endure it because of this same love. A lady who has grown up to be rude and insolent, goes through life having issues with everyone and although this behavior was apparent in her youth, nobody corrected her and categorically pointed out why she had to change but they all claimed to love her. Even a woman who stands up to her boss at work, comes home and expects sympathy from her husband and a pat on the back all in the name of love. 

Love has been totally been misunderstood because the concept of love itself has been totally distorted. The greatest part of true love is severity! What is now called love is anything but love. If all so-called "loves" are relentlessly examined right to the bottom, there remains nothing more than selfishness, vanity, weakness, convenience, illusion or just pure instinct. If a person is going through some unpleasant experiences and feels that God does not love him or her, this is far from the truth because "The Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” Hebrews 12:6.

Genuine love will not consider what is pleasing and agreeable to the other, what brings him joy, but will only consider what will benefit him, regardless of whether it affords him pleasure or not! That is genuine love and service. But we just don't want to hear it...true love

Even the personality of Jesus is often degraded to one who possesses the qualities of weakness and indulgence, characteristics which He never possessed. It was just because of His all-embracing Love that He was so harsh and severe among the scribes and Pharisees. That He was often overcome with sadness is natural when one considers the ignorance, selfishness and narrow mindedness people often display . This sadness had nothing whatever to do with softness.

If a lady is with a man who beats her, thereby offering herself as a 24 hour punching bag, then she does not love him. If a husband sees his wife continually making the same wrong decisions and he does not correct her for fear of hurting her feelings, he does not love her. I certainly am not advocating for people to become insensitive and hard but let's stop giving love a bad name.We need to take a long hard look at our concept of love. Weakness and illogical indulgence have no place under the umbrella of love.

Ijeoma Olujekun


  1. Ijeoma, you have done it again o! This is an awesome piece. Love it!

    You can't imagine the nonsense some young Nigerian women spew out as their perception of love - had a pretty young woman I was once attracted to tell me "If you really loved me you would be able to read my mind"... Seriously?

    I do hope a lot of young women out there get off the "hollywood-cosmo love" deception and that we all learn what love truly is.

    God bless us all.

  2. am really grateful for this article..alot young ladies out there are so blinded by the fantasies in movies. it is so pathetic. thanks alot


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