Monday, September 13, 2010

Secret wishes of people in marriage

How I wish he would do something about his tommy, it is too big. How I wish she would stop giving excuses about her laziness, she never gets anything done. How I wish he would help in the housework on Saturdays instead of wasting time in front of the TV watching football. 

How I wish she would stop making that irritable sound at the back of her throat, all in the name of scratching the back of her throat. How I wish he would stop being funny when we go out. Doesn’t he know he is embarrassing us? How I wish she would do something about her weight.  

Wishes, Wishes, Wishes. These issues have been long standing unresolved issues in marriages. Harmless as they may be, when there are arguments, they become major issues that aggravate the quarrels. What have we done with these issues? 

Some people choose to ignore the issues while some continually nag about the issues. Have you discussed the issue with your spouse? Have you approached God with the issues? You may say that you have discussed this issue with him (her) but the excuse is always ‘that is how I was made, I can’t change now’.

Yes, you may have proclaimed when you got born again that old things have passed away and all things have become new. But if you did not acknowledge and confess these little ‘secrets’ or ‘habits’, they would remain. You may still be holding on to these ‘secrets’ because they make you ‘complete’. You may even think that you do not have ‘habits’ that your spouse finds irritable. But somehow, you find that you always argue about these little things.

Both parties need to sit down and talk about these issues in a quiet, relaxed atmosphere. You need to agree on what the real issues are and why they are issues. Never say that you cannot change; even for the sake of peace and happiness in the home.

Both parties should realize that all things are possible and that these issues have to be acknowledged, confessed and released. For greater is He that is in us as Christians than any issues that we may face.

But Love should be the bedrock of all things as with these issues. It may take time to resolve but it can be resolved. Do not think that you can do it alone, ‘I will try’; just confess that it is finished and stand on it. Don’t procrastinate, start now.

Also remember the Bible says ‘Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.’ 


Have a wonderful week.


  1. your list of secret wishes isn't long enough...and some of them ain't secret

  2. @beautiful wifey. it would help to list some of the secret wishes.


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