Sunday, January 22, 2012

Have you read any Christian books about marriage?

As part of the premarital counselling class that my wife and I co-ordinate in our local church, we usually ask whether intending couples have read any christian books about marriage. As is always the case, less than 20% usually answer in the affirmative.  And our next question is always this - When preparing for your exams in school, don't you read books? How come you haven't read any book to prepare you for the one of the biggest exams in Life?

This gives rise to one of the biggest mistakes intending couples make. Some people get into marriage based on the following:
- how they saw their parents' marriages;
- what they have seen in films;
- what they have read in fictional books; and
- what they have garnered from friends

I do advise that intending couples need to read the Bible to know what God says about marriage. Our Almighty Father created the institution of marriage and we, as human beings, should study to know what he designed marriage for. One of such related passages recorded in the Bible is 1 Corinthians 7.

Apart from the Bible, there are some books that talk about some other aspects of Christian marriages. Some of the books that I would readily recommend are listed as follows:
- The Act of Marriage by Tim and Beverly LaHaye;
- The Five Love Languages by Dr Gary Chapman;
- The Power and Purpose of Love and Marriage by Dr Myles Munroe;
- Intended for Pleasure by Ed. Wheat and Gaye Wheat
- Communication, Sex and Marriage by Edwin Louis Cole

Please note that this is not an exhaustive list as there are many other books that you can find. But I do emphasize that you must go after christian books.

The Act of Marriage - Tim and Beverly LaHaye

The Act of Marriage is concerned with helping couples, to achieve sexual satisfaction. Indeed, the book is noteworthy for opening up dialogue among Christians about their sexuality. Unlike other self-help books which address human sexuality,The Act of Marriage helps readers identify how their spirituality and religious beliefs can enhance their love lives. Sexuality is one of the most misunderstood areas by Christians and Non-Christians, which can cause major issues in any marriage. With over 2.5 million copies sold since its release in 1976, The Act of Marriage has helped Christian couples around the world discover new joy and sexual fulfillment in marriage. I do recommend it for intending couples. You can readily get a copy at any Christian store.
The Five Love Languages -  Dr Gary Chapman

This book focuses on the aspect of communication between two people. Dr Gary Chapman states that as people come in all varieties, shapes, and sizes, so do their choices of personal expressions of love. But more often than not, the giver and the receiver express love in two different ways. This can lead to misunderstanding, quarrels, and even divorce. Quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch are the five basic love languages. In this book, Dr. Gary Chapman identifies these and guides couples towards a better understanding of their unique languages of love. Reading this book, you would learn to speak and understand your mate's love language, and in no time you will be able to effectively love and truly feel loved in return. You can also visit Dr Chapman's site to get more information about the book, even assess yourself and your spouse and upcoming events about the subject around the world.

The Power and Purpose of Love and Marriage - Dr Myles Munroe

Dr. Myles Munroe provides answers to the questions surrounding the true nature of love as he exposes the false images created in our culture. He shares practical and realistic truths that will enable you to discover and experience love for God, for yourself, for your mate, and for those around you. This book is a simple and refreshingly usable guide that will help young couples chart their way to marital success and avoid the things that could cause their marriages to flounder.

Intended for Pleasure by Ed. Wheat and Gaye Wheat
Intended For Pleasure is an easy-to-read reference book that has been revised and expanded in its third edition. Ed and Gaye Wheat, along with their medical associate Dow Pursley, combine biblical teaching on love and marriage with the latest medical information on sex and sexuality. Drawing on years of experience in counseling couples, the authors have updated each chapter, adding information on contraceptives and a new chapter on sexually transmitted diseases, clarifying information on AIDS, herpes, HPV infection, and gonorrhea. Intended For Pleasure gently encourages the married couple to make their sexual relationship the fulfilling experience it was meant to be. This is a complete sex manual for practicing Christians with basic facts, illustrations and candid discussion of all facets of human sexuality. Intended For Pleasure is highly recommended reading for newlyweds
Communication, Sex and Marriage by Edwin Louis Cole

Ed Cole talks about the three primary problems (Communication, Sex and Marriage) that men have in their relationships with women and says that most men would do almost anything to overcome these problems. Cole has solid solutions for all three. Complete with everyday examples, readers will learn to defeat difficulties and create a satisfying, peace-filled, long-lasting marriage. For years, men have called this Christian bestseller the "sex and money" book, while wives have bought it for husbands in hopes of improving communication. Whatever the motiviation, thousands of men have turned their relationships around by applying these time-proven patterns and principles.

I do encourage that intending couples and married couples should read these books for I know it will put you on a firm footing to enjoy a blissful, long lasting marriage.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks Francis.
    I wish there could be more recommendations as this, that is preparing for the great exam of life.
    One of my mentors say that "Marriage is a laboratory of Life", unending tests.
    The more prepared, the better the performance.


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