The Five Love Languages - A review

This is one of the most intellectually sound books ever written for couples, by one of the greatest marriage counselors (or shall I say consultants?) of our time.

If you communicate love one way, but your spouse receives and feels loved in a completely opposite way there are likely to be many misunderstandings and hurt feelings between you. He always tells you how pretty you are and how he loves the way you think, but you feel more loved when he gets you a gift. So, he feels he is showing you love, but you don’t feel much love at all. It could be vice versa; you think that spending time with him will make him feel loved but he prefers words of affirmation. 

The 5 Love Languages® are broken down into the following categories: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. It can take time to figure out what your own love language is and what your spouse’s is. And even when you know, it can also take practice to use the love languages.

Have you read any Christian books about marriage?

As part of the premarital counselling class that my wife and I co-ordinate in our local church, we usually ask whether intending couples have read any christian books about marriage. As is always the case, less than 20% usually answer in the affirmative.  And our next question is always this - When preparing for your exams in school, don't you read books? How come you haven't read any book to prepare you for the one of the biggest exams in Life?

This gives rise to one of the biggest mistakes intending couples make. Some people get into marriage based on the following:
- how they saw their parents' marriages;
- what they have seen in films;
- what they have read in fictional books; and
- what they have garnered from friends

I do advise that intending couples need to read the Bible to know what God says about marriage. Our Almighty Father created the institution of marriage and we, as human beings, should study to know what he designed marriage for. One of such related passages recorded in the Bible is 1 Corinthians 7.

Apart from the Bible, there are some books that talk about some other aspects of Christian marriages. Some of the books that I would readily recommend are listed as follows:
- The Act of Marriage by Tim and Beverly LaHaye;
- The Five Love Languages by Dr Gary Chapman;
- The Power and Purpose of Love and Marriage by Dr Myles Munroe;
- Intended for Pleasure by Ed. Wheat and Gaye Wheat
- Communication, Sex and Marriage by Edwin Louis Cole