Wednesday, January 9, 2013

5 Successful Marriage Tips When a Spouse is Unemployed - Wanda Collins

Here are 5 successful marriage tips for those who have been affected by the economic down turn. Is this really necessary you ask? When you consider money is among the top three reasons couples divorce today, it really is necessary. Currently, thousands of families across the United States have been negatively impacted by increasing unemployment numbers. Unfortunately, rising unemployment numbers can also translate into an increase in divorce rates. If either you or your spouse is unemployed, here are a few tips to keep your marriage healthy and strong as you make this transition:

1. Keep Things in Prospective - Step back from the situation and realize that although your job was taken away, you still have your life, your family, your health, and your skills. As long as you have all of those things, you are actually quite wealthy compared to some. In fact, looking at it from a different perspective, the loss of your job could actually be seen as an opportunity. An opportunity for what you ask? An opportunity to start that business you've dreamed about for so long; an opportunity to spend more time with your family; perhaps even an opportunity to go back to school and increase your marketability.

2. Avoid Misdirected Anger - Often times when one spouse is unemployed for a substantial period of time, tempers begin to flair as the money begins to diminish. When you become accustomed to having a certain dollar amount in your checking account and all of a sudden it's not there, this can illicit feelings of fear, frustration, and ultimately anger between spouses. But you must realize your spouse is not your enemy. Neither are they the blame for the situation. You are both on the same team, fighting for the same dream. So, instead of taking it out on your spouse, go bike riding or jogging to release that steam.

3. Keep the Faith - Simply put, if you believe you're doomed, then you probably are. If you believe you'll come out on top, then you probably will. What do you believe to be true about your current situation? If you're not sure, just monitor your thoughts for a few hours. What do you spend the majority of your time thinking about? The answer to that question will give you clear insight into what you really believe regarding your future. If you discover your faith is not as strong as it could be, then make a decision to change it, it's just that simple.

4. Save the Date - Regardless of how much money you have or don't have. Regardless of whether you live in a 5 bedroom house or a two bedroom apartment; spending time with your mate must always be the priority. Be deliberate about having a date night and keeping it -- no matter what. There are tons of inexpensive things the two of you can do together. Like going to a "dollar" movie, visiting a bookstore, walking in the park, or having a game night at home. Your financial situation is merely temporary, the truth is; it will eventually change. On the other hand, the relationship you have with your spouse, is a lifetime covenant with a value that far exceeds dollars, diamonds, or gold.

5. Don't Parent - If you are the employed spouse, don't grill your unemployed spouse with questions about their job seeking efforts. Your position should always be supporter, and encourager, not supervisor. The truth is, your spouse wants to get back into the work force just as much as you want them to, probably more so. It is doubtful he or she needs to be parented or supervised in order to find employment. So, resist the urge to play mom or dad, and choose instead to treat them with the same dignity and respect you would want if it were you.

About the Author

Wanda Collins holds a Bachelors of Science Degree in the field of Speech Sciences and Communication Disorders, and is currently pursuing her Masters Degree at Liberty University in the area of Marriage and Family Therapy. Wanda is a devoted mother, wife, minister, and student of the Word of God. She is passionate about helping God's people, but has a tender spot for Christian couples. Wanda believes that Satan's desire is to destroy marriages because in doing so, he affects our family heritage, our churches, and the entire community. For fun, Wanda enjoys reading, music, good food, and spending quality time with her family! 

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