Friday, January 4, 2013

Generational Secrets may affect your marriage - "Whatever you sow, you will reap"

A situation arose in a young lady's life. She had married a man whom she had dated for several years only for her to pack her things back to her parents' home, after just 9 months of marriage. She is a lawyer so she knew it was just a case of annulment because the marriage was never consummated.

Why wasn't this marriage consummated?

She couldn't explain why she did not have any desire to sleep with her husband, she just couldn't bear it. Through these months after marriage without sex, he had been patient and loving.  However when it was obvious that his patience was wearing thin and he had reported the matter to his father who suggested they visit a babalawo (witchdoctor), she decided to leave.

She got home and narrated the whole ordeal to her father. Her father was a minister and knew the scriptures all too well, "whatever you sow you will reap".
You see, years ago in a village in Nigeria, this lady's mother was married off to a man. Along the line, she fell in love with another man who was not her husband and refused sleeping with her legitimate husband.

Eventually she eloped with this other man and they moved to Lagos ( a big city in Nigeria) and started a family, leaving her former husband and life behind.

Now this same issue has happened with the first daughter of this new family, and it just didn't seem like a coincidence that she had suddenly refused her husband his conjugal rights.

Her mother cried because she felt it was her fault, as they retold the story to their daughter, she cried also. They prayed together and repented and after a few weeks, she was back in her husband's house and has been there happily ever since.

God is a God of principles, his word shall not return to him void if he says you will reap what you sow then surely you will. But he is also a God of mercy. What hit me when this testimony was shared with me was that it was obvious that although this man had become a minister and repented and had a family altar where he and his wife prayed on a daily basis, it was obvious the enemy was still accusing them as a result of something that they had done as youths.

God blessed their Lagos hustle oh! They built a large house and this lady was sent abroad to study but they had performed an injustice, I can imagine how betrayed the first husband felt when his wife absconded after he had paid a heavy dowry (they were of Igbo tribe in Nigeria). We are being watched in HD!

Fear God and keep his commandments. Is there a commandment you find difficult to obey? There is an abundance of grace, I don't want to over-analyse that, but He will make your paths straight.

Are you presently in a situation where you have offended someone? Is there someone crying out to God as a result of your actions? Put away your pride today, make things right and become a recipient of God's mercy. God is not mocked. Matthew 5:7 says if you sow mercy, you will reap mercy in return. If you want God's mercy to follow you and your family, avoid all acts of injustice and judgement of others (you have enough problems of your own) if not, mercy will elude you.

Ijeoma Olujekun


  1. Sorry i do not see the link between what the mother did and her daughter not wanting to sleep with her husband!

    1. The mother of the lady first eloped with another man even though she married the first man. The mother also did not consumate her own marriage too. The daughter also did the same.

  2. There is no man or woman without fault. And to some extent after we repent for our sins we may still carry that burden of that sin until we learn to forgive ourselves. I don’t mean to suggest that we should live it up cause there are no consequences, but God is extremely merciful and he will forgive even the gravest of sins if the person is repents, accepts God as his savior, and forgives himself. I think what the parents witnessed hear was some feeling of guilt that they still had despite their new lives as God’s followers. And I think that guilt showed itself when they witnessed what happened to the daughter. It wasn’t until they faced that burden that the guilt lifted and the daughter was able to gain from her parents’ experience. The two situations don’t have to be alike, it’s just that the burden may weigh down more than those who feel the guilt. In this case, the daughter felt some unbeknownst guilt.

    1. Thank you Relationship advice for men, you hit the nail on the head and anon also. I actually left out the part that the couple prayed privately everyday about what they had done. By constantly praying about this it demonstrated they still carried this guilt around, rather than know that God had forgiven them. Its not just as simple as what you sow you reap because what you continuously behold eventually manifests itself in your life somehow (law of attraction).


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