Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Choosing That Special One

When I woke up this morning to type this post, I wanted to write on something entirely different but I decided to check some early morning blogs and I had a change of mind.

Yesterday’s post focused on the things that needed to be done just before one enters that lifelong contract with another and I feel more inclined to write along the same line. Seeing into the future is not a specialty most of us have, so choosing that person that we are going to be pledging our forever together with needs so much more than the physical.

It’s a crazy world out there so it is comforting for most people that meet their partners in church. I guess for those that do, it takes away the headache of having to deal with individual vices linked with not revering God. it also makes the  person feel to a large extent that he/she is compatible with the other person since being in Christ is naturally suppose to translate to having a character also like Christ’s.

However, it is not as easy even for those that meet or hope to meet their significant others in church. I’ll tell you why. I remember there was this very dedicated brother at my church and he was dating a sister to the knowledge of every member of the congregation. They did everything together. Long story short, He marked his territory so fiercely that every other male member of the church knew they had to keep off. I was surprised however when after a while he broke up with her and even changed churches. We learnt later he said they were not compatible. 

I remember I was upset on behalf of the sister, the church is not the place to be testing who and who is not compatible. We are of the Lord and if indeed we are truly saved, the issue of compatibility will not come to fore as we are both suppose to be clothed in Christ’s behaviour.

Another major issue is those that have their pastors pray about their partners. Now, this is a major issue as some of the said pastors mislead their sheep. There have been instances where the so called God chosen partners betray their partners and people find themselves stuck in loveless relationships.

How then can one find a suitable partner? 

First you have to understand that your pastor is not God and you have an access to God just like he does and if you can also pray about your choice of partner. We are all equal before God; His ears are at our tables at all times.

Another thing is, you don’t have to say yes to that brother or that sister in church because he/she ‘dreamt’ that you are his/her God chosen partner. You also need to feel the conviction in your heart that such person is telling the truth meaning you also have to pray about it to be sure.

Physical attraction is also key, be sure you have chemistry with whoever you about to start that lifelong relationship with.

Read all the points from yesterday’s post too, they are very useful. Incase you missed it, you can read it HERE.

Getting married to another is too sensitive for one not to take the right steps and I need to emphasise that the Bible frowns at divorce so it is not an option.

May God help us all. Stay blessed.


  1. I beg 2 differ. Being born again doesn't mean u r automatically compatible with everyone who is also born again. So saying a church is not a place to test compatibility is an error. You do not expect the guy to go ahead and marry the girl just because everyone expected him to when they are not compatible. That is really one of the reasons why divorce is becoming rampant even in churches. Everyone has the right to choose who to get married to and as long as they were not already married, its never too late to call it quits. The church can neva force marriage on them. The girl should learn not to let a guy mark her as his territory until she really is.

  2. Powerful write up...I agree that a church is no place to test compabilities becos b4 he went ahead to ask her out,he shld av prayed hence likewise the girl after being spoken to.if this had been put into place,the issue of compability wnt really come up.bible says he has chosen a spouse for each one of us,all we Nid do is trust Him to find ours.how did she get marked as a territory without fully knowing he was the one.i dnt think the issue is church,it rili is both of them not taking time out first to decide certain things b4 beginning a relationship.


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