Thursday, October 16, 2014

Parents and Greener Pastures: Where Do Your Children Fit in?

People always say "home is where the heart is"; however what they truly mean is that "home is where you're born and raised". While it may be true for some people that home is where all their dreams come true, some people struggle a lot with making ends meet, and therefore cannot fight the urge to seek greener pastures in a different state, province, country or even continent.

Many parents have grand plans for their children; however I daresay some parents are so clouded by their own desire for personal success, they don't consider the effects of their plans on their children. I've met parents who abandoned their teenage children in a bid to go 'make it' in a foreign country. They get to their destination, and the reality that things are not rosy everywhere hits. It's another struggle, another journey to success and a lot of adjustment is required. Many soon realize quickly that they cannot provide the dream lives they promised their children back home, nor can they hop on a plane and return home- partly because they are unwilling to admit failure or because they believe staying a few years will expose them to better opportunities. But then what happens to the children?

Under no condition should both parents abandon their children while they go in search of greener pasture! If both parents can't afford to take their children with them, then they should either both stay where they are with their children or let one parent go. The latter for me is unacceptable as many people although married go in search of better opportunities and forget their families.

Before you decide to make a big move, you first need to consider the effect the environment will have on your children. Will you be able to afford their fees for sometime before you get a steady source of income? Do you have a job offer awaiting you? Will you be able to cater for your children's basic needs? You may not be able to offer them fancy clothes, but will you be able to give them the tools they need to succeed in that environment?

When making such decisions as parents, your children should be the centre of your reflection and assessment. Don't abandon your children with a friend or relative for any reason! Your children are better off with you, even with only the basics.

Stay blessed. Xoxo

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