Saturday, October 4, 2014

Q & A: Is there anything wrong in maintaining contact with my ex after marriage?


Husband: How can I believe that there is nothing going on between you and your ex? You say he is your ex and he keep calling you; even as late as 10p.m. at night. Does he not know you are married? I have told you that you should tell him to keep off.

Wife: I don't know what you are stressing yourself about. Have I not married you? He is just a good friend. He means no harm. I don't think you should see him as a threat.

This is similar to a case handled by my wife and I at a counseling session recently.  The husband clearly had a problem with his wife fraternizing with her ex-boyfriend but the wife didn't see any harm in it. The issue was to determine whether it was right or wrong.


Putting it plain and simple, having a close relationship with your ex-girlfriend or boyfriend, exclusive of your spouse is a Capital NO!! NO!! It is suicidal. This applies to the husband and the wife. When you get married, "Old things are passed away and all things have become new". You have to do away with old flames. Breaking off relationships is never really final as one party usually still has feelings for the other party. And continuous interaction with your ex can stoke some emotive embers and before you know it, it becomes a case of adultery.

And even for the sake of peace in the home, you should put an end to any relationship that does not involve your spouse. If it makes your spouse jealous and bitter, stop it. Even if (s)he does not show any disapproval, it is wisely instructive that the relationship with the third party is stopped.


  1. I concur!
    If my wife has a problem with my relationship with a female person, I put and end to it. Period!
    Women know women. She sees what I don't see. No other woman is worth risking harmony with my wife. If you truly love your wife, you will get rid of that relationship with your ex!

  2. It is true. Even so some men believe they can handle it. Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?


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