7 Simple Things You Shouldn't Do When Resolving Conflicts (Part 2)

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Do not give the silent treatment; giving your partner the cold shoulder every time you have a disagreement is never the way to go. Asides from it being a manipulative tool , it doesn’t exactly solve anything.

You may assume that your partner ought to know why you are angry when they truthfully don’t. It is always better to talk things in a bid to iron out your differences.

Do not make a mess of the trust invested in you; anger can bring out the worst in even the best people, making them to become vindictive. Lovers share a lot between themselves including secrets and flaws they don’t feel comfortable letting someone else know. Don’t break your partner’s trust by referring them to something they told you in secret just in a bid to break them or make them see reasons with you. This leads me to the next point.

7 Simple Things You Shouldn't Do When Resolving Conflicts (Part 1)

PhotoCredit:www.foryourmarriage.org

Romance novels formed a great part of my reading in my early teens, the predictability of the stories made that genre lose its charm for me as I grew in age. One could always tell how the characters relate and how the plot would unfold from just the summary. 

Did I mention the many assumptions contained in them were also a source of concern? The picture perfect imaginations painted had me spending the better part of those years daydreaming about a tall Adonis that had the missing parts to all my unsaid sentences. You know the kind that knew just how much air I could take in per minute and serenaded me to sleep every night.

Together and Apart - Stephen Martin

Like every married couple, you and your partner will have to wrestle with how much is enough togetherness — and what constitutes too much. There are as many answers to this question as there are marriages. Your agreement on this subject is also likely to change over the course of your marriage, as each of your individual needs and the needs of your family shift.

Problems arise when you and your partner disagree about the right balance of togetherness and separateness in your marriage. Take heart — very few couples begin in the same camp on this issue. What successful couples know is that the balance of togetherness and separateness is an issue they must keep on the table for ongoing discussion and compromise throughout their marriage.

Feelings of loneliness can also indicate another, more personal, problem that results from not liking your own company. If this is true of you and you haven't yet come to terms with your dilemma by going to individual therapy or taking other constructive steps, there is a danger that you will project your unconscious feelings of poor self worth onto your partner; in other words, you may believe he doesn't love you when in fact the problem is that you don't love you. At the base of loneliness is poor self-esteem.