Tuesday, November 29, 2016

7 Simple Things You Shouldn't Do When Resolving Conflicts (Part 2)


Do not give the silent treatment; giving your partner the cold shoulder every time you have a disagreement is never the way to go. Asides from it being a manipulative tool , it doesn’t exactly solve anything.

You may assume that your partner ought to know why you are angry when they truthfully don’t. It is always better to talk things in a bid to iron out your differences.

Do not make a mess of the trust invested in you; anger can bring out the worst in even the best people, making them to become vindictive. Lovers share a lot between themselves including secrets and flaws they don’t feel comfortable letting someone else know. Don’t break your partner’s trust by referring them to something they told you in secret just in a bid to break them or make them see reasons with you. This leads me to the next point.

Issues should be discussed in the light of the present situation. There will be need to forgive and forgive all over again in the course of your marriage. You don t want to be caught referring to past situations that ought to be buried every time you have a fresh argument over totally unrelated things(even related ones). It is tempting to want to prove your point by making your partner see just how many times you have been on that road but the goal isn’t about one person winning. What matters is for both of you to be committed to making the needed amends to forge ahead in your relationships.

Do not argue in front of other people: It is a relationship between you two not some communal setting. Learn to handle your businesses privately without necessarily involving outsiders that may be looking to justify the deeds of one person against the other .You do not want to give someone that doesn’t have any business in your business airing opinions that might be toxic to your relationship. I know there are times this might be hard because you feel seriously slighted or irritated but two wrongs never make a right. There is a place and time for everything.

Do not become abusive while trying to resolve your issues: be careful not to raise your voice on your spouse while trying to make your points so as not to trigger an outrageous reaction. The goal is to resolve the issues between you two and so do not make it worse by throwing insults at one another or becoming violent in any way. This will only make things worse and even after it all gets cooled down (if it does) a line would have already been crossed raising other questions.

All in all no one is perfect and not every situation is the same. Conflicts are meant to be resolved in the most civil way. Words can hurt really deep. Let love be your guide as you try to find solution to whatever issue might arise. Corinthians 13:4-7
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres

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