Thursday, November 24, 2016

Important Tips On Staying Married

Some things happen that make us question what we thought we knew. Good people derail and a seemingly great marriage ends. We are riddled with lots of questions we fight hard to understand. Could it be this or that, we wonder. Could it have been fixed? Is there hope for the new ones yet to tie the knot? How does one know what works and what doesn’t?

One thing is sure though, we all are not the same and the same solutions won’t work for us all, however there are areas where we are similar. 

Having chatted with a number of people, I have discovered that some cases of irreconcilable differences stem from an accumulation of little things that have built up over the course of time. We fail to address these supposed little things and they then become escalated jostling us out of our assumption that everything was right.

We should always bear in mind that marriage is between two people and at no time should we assume that the other person’s opinion doesn’t matter. Like the times you thought your spouse ought to understand that you are trying to build a life for the family on your long trips outside the country and unending meetings when you are in town or when you never acknowledged that your lack of intimacy for a long period of time was a serious cause for concern. How about the times you felt taken for granted and assumed your wife/husband ought to know or the times when your spouse complained of being unappreciated and you thought she/he ought to understand that wasn’t true.

Even the best among us can be guilty of this dangerous slope of assumption that can become cancerous in our marriages. Intentions can be misinterpreted. Much as we feel connected to our spouses in special ways, we seem to forget that they are humans and may not be able to tell what goes on in our minds. Communicating right and taking inventory to see how far or well things are going in our marriages and relationships never hurts anyone.

Regret is never a good thing. Those ahead of us make mistakes for us to see and make needed amendments. If your spouse keeps complaining about a particular thing, you should listen and try to find ways around it. Carry your significant other along when taking important decisions and be sure to reassure them in words and deeds that you appreciate them being in your life. Don’t be so rigid in your ways; marriage thrives on sacrifice and great communication. Don't ignore the little things. Don’t get caught wondering what could have been if you had acted differently.

Marriage is so special let us not reduce it to nothing because of our misplaced priorities, insensitivity and egos. 

Above all, never stop praying for God’s wisdom to guide you as you go through each day

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