The Parable of the Talents - The Importance of Personal Effectiveness and Growth

The Parable of the Talents

There are many lessons that can be learnt from the Parable of the Talents as recorded in Matthew 25: 14- 30.

For those who have not taken time to study the Parable, I have reproduced the King James Version here.

Matthew 25:14-30 (KJV)

14 For the kingdom of heaven is as a man travelling into a far country, who called his own servants, and delivered unto them his goods.

15 And unto one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his several ability; and straightway took his journey.

16 Then he that had received the five talents went and traded with the same, and made them other five talents.

17 And likewise he that had received two, he also gained other two.

Children - Gift from God or A Burden

One of my passions is playing with children and hear them say the funniest things.

Having them is one of the joyous things in life. Psalm 127:3 states that "Children are a gift from God; they are a reward from him." but having so many could make it a burden and not a gift. It's a gift when you have the number of children you can cater for; on the other hand having children becomes a burden when you have more than your resources can cater for. 

My question is "why bring these children into the world to suffer when you know you can barely afford three square meals or still struggling to make ends meet". 

Having too many children can bring about financial and emotional stress. You may have to purchase a larger car and spend more money on meals. It can be difficult for many parents to find the resources to pay for higher education for each child or even send them to ‘Harvard Business School (US)’ or ‘Corona (Nigeria)’. If you have children of different gender, you may wish to house them in separate rooms; this necessitates the purchase or rental of housing with more space. Parents of large families may find it hard to spend an adequate amount of time supervising each child everyday. 

What do you do when your Parents-in-law are trying to run your family.

Typically when a couple has not discussed and agreed upon the ground rules for in-laws before marriage, this couple may not be able to deal with parents-in-law who try to encroach and make unrealistic demands from the couple.

My wife and I, as Premarital counsellers, always advise intending couples to discuss the issue of managing in-laws before they get married. To avert a situation where in-laws take over your family, I urge you to note and implement the following:

1. Set Ground Rules. Each couple should set ground rules and abide by them irrespective of the pressure that might come from their parents. Each party, husband and wife, should them communicate these ground rules to his/her parents.

2. Every man should stand up for his wife. If after marriage, there is one Mother-in-law trying to tell you how she carried your husband for 9 months, nursed and tendered for him, hence she has a right to dictate what happens in your home, let your husband deal with this. I urge husbands to act as real men and defend their wives. Men, you need to understand that the moment you went to ask for your wife's hand in marriage, you promised to take care of her. She now becomes the number 1 lady in your life, not your mother. So it is your duty, no matter how painful it is, to tell you mother who the real queen is.

Don't Hide It; Be Bold and Courageous

“I might be able to speak the language of men and even of angels but if I have no love, my speech is no more than a noisy gong or a clanging bell” 1 Corin. 13 vs. 1. Love is very important in life; it is with love you can win the battles of life. The Bible also says “love is the greatest of all”

“A friend of mine was in love with a lady for three years but he didn’t know how to tell her; a year later the lady got engaged to my friend’s cousin who they met through my friend and this devastated him. He confronted the lady who told him that she waited for three years for him to express his love but he didn’t. Today, my friend is still very angry with himself for not making the first move as his cousin is happily married to the lady”.

It is true that many guys are afraid to declare their love to the ladies of their dreams. This feeling comes because of the fear of being rejected and others are afraid to know that the lady already has a boyfriend.

You don’t need Ramsey Noah/Emeka Ike’s (Nollywood Actors) boldness to deliver a romantic compliment. Though the content of the compliment itself is nice but how you say it, counts. Make the tone romantic by maintaining eye contact and smile as you talk – it will make you naturally add appealing inflection to your voice.

Why you deserve to be happy in your marriage

No matter what you may hear about the divorce rates in the world, even among Christians, you do deserve a good and happy marriage.

No matter the increasing cases of infidelity, increasing cases of unhappiness in marriage, there are people that still enjoy their marriages.

No matter the rift caused by the recent quarrels over seemingly major issues, marriage can be a beautiful relationship

Marriage was instituted by God to be a good thing. He chose the marriage relationship to represent/mirror Himself to mankind - to demonstrate His love, forgiveness and long suffering commitment to people.

Marriage is a wholesome relationship between a man and a woman intended to be a permanent bond in which many needs are satisfied – the need to love and be loved, the need for deep friendship, for sharing, for companionship, for sexual satisfaction, the need to escape loneliness.

In all this, I must confess that marriage still requires commitment, sacrifice and work. But it is your right to be happy.

Nobody can make you unhappy without your permission. Claim it, Work at it, Live it.

5 Potentials flashpoints when choosing a life partner

These are many potential flashpoints to consider when choosing a life partner. Here are 5 top flashpoints you must look out for.

1. When the two partners are from different christian denominations or even different faiths. Now when you have a man that grew up in a Catholic home wishing to marry a woman from an Anglican home, there might be an issue as to the church the family will eventually go to. It is always better for the couple to choose a common denomination. It solves a lot of issues and makes it easier on the children.  It is not always good to see the mum and children going to one church and the father going to another.  The couple should realise that the man has the veto power to determine the church, faith. So the woman should realise this upfront.

The Self Fulfilling Prophecy - The Pygmalion Effect in Marriages

                                                     Picture: MichaelHyatt.com

(I have changed a couple of things in this story)

The following conversation happened in a post marital counselling session I handled sometime ago. This was with a Christian couple that have been married for more than five years.

Wife: I do not trust my husband when it comes to relationships with the opposite sex.
Counsellor (Me): How come?  Has he done anything to make you distrust him? Have you caught him with another woman?
Wife: No. Not yet. I just do not trust him.
Counsellor (Me): So when did this distrust issue start?
Wife: I don't know.
Husband: Interjecting; I will tell you. All this started when I told her that I had a lot of girlfriends before I got married. From that time, she has been suspecting any kind of relationship I have with the opposite sex.

I am using this real life situation to discuss the effect of "The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy" in marriages.