How much should you spend on your wedding?

When a man and a woman decide to have a wedding, one of the common questions that may bring about some argument is the amount to dedicate to the wedding. For men and women alike the question evokes a lot of emotions. But the answer depends on a lot of factors such as the financial capabilities of the bride and the groom, the expectations of the parents, the spiritual beliefs of the couple and many more.  For some men, they can't bear to spend so much money on just an occasion while for some women are ready to spend so much because it is a once in a lifetime event.

My advice is this and I think it is the foundation to build on. Each couple should ensure that they do not get into debt because of the wedding.  And do ensure that you have money to take care of yourselves after the wedding ceremony. Please also save towards your wedding. Do not expect that your every wish should be catered for by your families. You should be prepared to shell out the funds required for all the wedding activities.

Do you still find your marriage exciting?

Do you still find your marriage exciting? 

As a Christian, you may not ask yourself this question until you find out one day that you are constantly having long drawn arguments with your spouse over silly little things, going through a whole day without calling each other, treating sex as a boring duty or worse, still find out that (s)he is having an affair. You now come face to face with the reality that you have grown apart and seem to tolerate one another just because of the kids. You didn’t think it would end up like this; after all, you are Christians.

As lovebirds in a new marriage, you always had time for each other. You laughed at his jokes even though sometimes, they weren’t funny. You just wanted to be with him. You loved her smile and always loved to hold her in your arms, thanking God that her curvaceous body was made just perfect for your arms. You two had open minds and were eager to love and learn about one another.

Like most couples, you probably gave your relationship more time and attention when it was new – and now, maybe you’ve been married several years or months and that newness has worn off – and so has your excitement. And that can become a vicious cycle.

Facebook Parenting: For the troubled teen

Just came across this on YouTube about a father's response to his 15 year-old daughter's rantings about her "treatment" at home by her family. The girl posted some unsavoury comments on her Facebook wall and thought that since she had blocked her parents from seeing her Facebook page. But the Father found a way to the page and resorted to reply her daughter by posting a video on YouTube. Interestingly this video has garnered 3.7 million views within 3 days (it was posted on the 8th of February

Now, I do think that things like this should be kept in the home but unfortunately Facebook has made private things public. The teenager misbehaved by ranting about her family on Facebook but I do think that the Father went too far by swearing, smoking and shooting.

The New Testament binds a great responsibility on children when it says in Ephesians 6, verses 1-3, "Children obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honor thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth".

And verse 4 talks about the Parent's responsibility too - "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord"

Take a look at the clip below. What do you think?

Your comments, please

Have you read any Christian books about marriage?

As part of the premarital counselling class that my wife and I co-ordinate in our local church, we usually ask whether intending couples have read any christian books about marriage. As is always the case, less than 20% usually answer in the affirmative.  And our next question is always this - When preparing for your exams in school, don't you read books? How come you haven't read any book to prepare you for the one of the biggest exams in Life?

This gives rise to one of the biggest mistakes intending couples make. Some people get into marriage based on the following:
- how they saw their parents' marriages;
- what they have seen in films;
- what they have read in fictional books; and
- what they have garnered from friends

I do advise that intending couples need to read the Bible to know what God says about marriage. Our Almighty Father created the institution of marriage and we, as human beings, should study to know what he designed marriage for. One of such related passages recorded in the Bible is 1 Corinthians 7.

Apart from the Bible, there are some books that talk about some other aspects of Christian marriages. Some of the books that I would readily recommend are listed as follows:
- The Act of Marriage by Tim and Beverly LaHaye;
- The Five Love Languages by Dr Gary Chapman;
- The Power and Purpose of Love and Marriage by Dr Myles Munroe;
- Intended for Pleasure by Ed. Wheat and Gaye Wheat
- Communication, Sex and Marriage by Edwin Louis Cole

"Jumping the Broom" The 3rd production movie by T.D. Jakes.

I went to the cinema last weekend with my wife to watch “Jumping the Broom”, currently showing at the cinemas in Nigeria. I was interested because I heard that Pastor T.D. Jakes was involved in it and that film was about marriage. He is one of the producers of the film and he makes a cameo appearance too.  In my mind, I felt it would be like one of the Tyler Perry’s earlier movies – Why did I get married? , e.t.c. I have a soft spot for African American films and marriage.

This is the third production effort of Pastor T.D. Jakes. Pastor T.D. Jakes is the founding pastor of The Potter’s House in Dallas. Other films produced by Pastor T.D. Jakes, include 2004’s “Woman, thou art loosed” and 2009's “Not Easily Broken”. “Jumping the Broom” is a wedding story which involves two people from different backgrounds. Chaos ensues when the two families are brought together for the big day.  In this case, the difference between the families is class.   I would stop here so that I do not spoil the fun for those who haven’t watched it.

The cast is made up of well-known stars like Angela Bassett [Nothing But the Truth], Loretta Devine [Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Big Happy Family], Laz Alonso, Avatar.

Well, first up, this is not a film for children hence its rating, PG -13 because of its sexual connotation. I was a bit embarrassed about some of the scenes because I didn’t think it was appropriate. But it is typical of our world today and it brings up issues that Christians know about but are not willing to talk about it. It certainly would draw non-Christians unwittingly into thinking about Christian way of dealing with issues.

Pastor T.D. Jakes

Sex is ever-present in this film both as a plot line and a topic of conversation. The movie begins with a scene of lead actress, Sabrina Watson (Paula Patton) after having casual sex. Ooops! A sultry rendition of Marvin Gaye’s “Sexual Healing” by one of the cast members was almost uncomfortable for me. To some movie goers, this scene might be seen as permissible since the song was approved/applauded and seen as a reminder of one of America’s late, great musicians. Another interesting plot is a college boy’s pursuit of a much older woman which is played for laughs. I thought it gave an approval to the “Cougar” mentality.

To the opening scene, Pastor Jakes says he wanted to portray that although our goal should always be the pursuit to becoming better humans, people will make mistakes on the way.

Overall, it is a surprisingly touching and sincere comedy for mature audiences.

By the way, for those who don’t know, “Jumping the broom” refers to a tradition from slave days, when those who did not have the legal right to marry marked their commitment to each other by a ceremonial hop over a broom.

Go out and see the movie.

For those who have watched the movie, what do you think?

The role of a Father in Generational Succession - Wale Adefarasin

This is an interesting piece by Wale Adefarasin. Wale Adefarasin is the Host of international Talk Show, The Heart of the Matter, which airs every Sunday at 5:30pm on HiNolly (also Sky Broadcasting Channel 204); He is also the Chairman of the Center for Values & Social Change, as well as the General Overseer of Guiding Light Assembly.


An except....


.......Most importantly, a Father is one who is determined to bequeath a legacy to successive generations, who is prepared to pass on all he has to those coming behind him so that they can achieve more than he has.

In the final words of the Old Testament, God through Prophet Malachi (Malachi 4:5-6) warns that the earth will be smitten with a curse unless there is a restoration of Fatherhood; a turning of the hearts (not just the heads) towards each other.......

Please click on the the link below and read more.

http://blog.tariere.com/?p=1945

I know you are married but still do the PIES

Many Christian women (and men) often neglect to take care of themselves after marriage. They believe their spouses should only be focused on spiritual matters and shouldn't be bothered about their physical looks. WRONG!!!

Even though we are spirit beings, we still live in a physical world. Take time out to make yourself attractive physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually (PIES). The husband has no right to have large, round, protruding belly, saying it is a sign of wealth when he could be a hunk for his wife showing her his three-pack. She should be able to look up to him as her knight in shining armour, not the court jester. The husband should be fit and smart. While the wife should not let herself go, putting on weight and blaming it on childbirth.  She should be smart, fit and good looking. Let your king be enthralled by your beauty; honour him, for he is your Lord. (Psalm 45:11). I am not saying we should spend an inordinate time caring about how we look. But we should take good care of our physical bodies and our looks. It is not vain; it is expedient.

Be as attractive as you can be for yourself and your spouse.