Friday, June 14, 2013

My Husband Wants Me To Get An Abortion

"Hello, my friend is married and just found out she is pregnant. Most people who are married find this to be a joyful moment, but not for my friend's husband.The thing is my friend told me that her husband told her to get an abortion because , he is not ready to have a kid. Strangely they are a strong christian couple.This has come as a shock to me. My friend is completely against it , but is afraid that he will neglect the baby when it's born. What should she do to convince her husband, that abortion is not an option?"


Some cultures prefer to enjoy their marriage first before popping babies. Unlike where I come from, where the week after the wedding people are already checking the brides tummy.

If they had no plans to start child bearing and didn't take any precautions, then I wonder whether he assumed children only come to those who are ready for them. One visit to the nearest motherless babie's home would have corrected that notion.


I suspect finances might be an issue, but even if they are severly financially constrained and can't afford to feed themselves, a man can't just dictate that his wife get an abortion. Abortion is not a form of birth control!

If the wife says she is on contraceptives and she isn't, that's deception. If she deliberately poked holes in the condom, then he's just acting out his justifiable anger at this point. If it was an honest mistake that she got pregnant, then he needs to suck it up and prepare to be a daddy. Hopefully, he will eventually calm down. Unfortunately, there are no quick fixes to these sorts of issues that will give instant gratification or release.

On the possibility of him neglecting the child or habouring resentment towards the child. Yes, there is a possibility of that. Maybe he will, maybe he won't. That is what being a genuine Christian is about, at some points in a woman's life she has to be like Easter who said "If I perish, I perish". Sometimes we, mothers have to face things like that, but God sees our efforts to do what is good in his sight and it is rewarded.

A couple very close to me were dating and along the line the lady became pregnant. Being the child of a pastor she couldn't bear the shame of a potruding belly on her wedding day so, they aborted the pregnancy. They have been married for 8 years and there has been no pregnancy since. They wish they had repented of the fornication and faced the shame of their sin and back then.

The following are a few effects of abortion on women:

  • Women who have abortions increase their risk of breast cancer by fifty percent, according to a new study in the Journal of the National Cancer Institute. Abortion of a first pregnancy interrupts the natural growth process of the breast, leaving millions of cells at a high risk.

  • It has been found that future pregnancy failure is increased by forty-five percent with just one previous abortion. Other complications are a greater risk of premature births, tubal pregnancy, sterility, and damage to the cervix.

  • There are several emotional side effects. Among these are depression, long-term grief reactions, anger, sexual dysfunction, guilt, flashbacks, memory repression, suicidal ideas, and difficulty keeping close relationships.

  • In a new study by post-abortion researcher David Reardon, who operates the Elliot Institute for Social Sciences Research in Springfield, Illinois, it was found that twenty-eight percent of women who had abortions later attempted suicide, and over half of these women did so more than once. Drug and alcohol abuse increased four times among women who aborted compared to those who carried to term. Ninety-eight percent of women regretted having had an abortion. Seventy-two percent of women said their abortion did not improve their life. Twenty percent of post-abortive women reported a nervous breakdown, and ten percent were hospitalized for psychiatric care. Of the two hundred and sixty women surveyed, over sixty percent said their abortion made their life worse.

  • Abortion hurts women spiritually because it is not simply a process of evacuating the contents of a uterus, but the ending of a human life. God states in the sixth commandment, Thou shall not murder. Each baby is created by God and is part of His plan as stated in Psalms 139:13-14, You made all the delicate inner parts of my body and knit them together in my mother’s womb... you saw me before I was born and scheduled each day of my life before I began to breathe... Human life does not begin when the baby breathes, or when its heart begins to beat, buts its life is continuous and inherited.

We need to protect and value all human life from the moment of conception to natural death. The future of our world rest on that.

By Ijeoma Olujekun

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