Saturday, April 13, 2013

The Question Of Child Spacing...What do you consider?

The question of how to space the children is one that many couples will confront. From my observation, gone are the days when couples would just go with the flow and "Junior" and "Ada" were likely to have five or six others follow them in such short succession that they are almost all the same height.

The following are some responses from women who were asked how they would like to space their kids:

"I married early but am not ready for time wasting. I want to get it over with and seek a career. I want them when am still young enough to work myself back into shape. I don't want many kids either. One more and am officially done!!"

"There's nothing like 'the ideal interval'. . . Pretty much whatever rocks the boat of the couple.
There's a 17-year birth gap between my brother and I, and today, that interval has proven to be more than beneficial to everyone in my family, just as the 5-year interval between your kids might happen to be the best for you."

"A very vital point is the issue of school fees when they grow up. If I had to raise 2 or 3 kids all in different levels in the university eh? phew it would have been horrendous! I love the breather I have between these stages. Imagine having 2 or more toddlers in diapers and eating baby food at the same time, no no no not for me if I had to do in another life time, I would space them very well. I don't see any disadvantage in it except for women who start late of course."

"For me after this one, I might go and adopt! Seriously, if I'm going for 2 or 3, I will have to give myself time to recover.. E no easy at all! I can't even imagine myself giving birth every year."

It is obvious that there are a lot of varied views on this couples usually consider career, kids bonding, finances, age and health of the mother.

Career: Some like to have their kids quickly so the woman can focus on  work, others like good spacing so they have enough time with the kid at a time and build their career

Kids Bonding: Anecdotal evidence shows that when spacing is not too much, the kids grow n bond together more than if it was otherwise. For instance, preteens do not consider themselves in the same league as children, and teenagers feel well above preteens. Your children are less likely to play well together - one is creating a Lego castle while the other is trying to eat it.

Finances: Some like spacing so you to avoid having all the kids in secondary school or university at the same time. On the other hand, when they are close they get to use some of the same toys, cot and other things from the other child.

Age of the couple: If a woman is marries below 25yrs old, she may decide to have 4-5 yrs gap, but when a woman gets married at 37+, believe me, 1+ yrs gap might appear too much in her eyes. Again, if a couple experience delay in child bearing till they get to around 40+yrs old before having the first child,  having a gap of over a year might even seem to much.
Perhaps its to each their own. A lot depends on the number of kids the couple want, their professional/financial situation can change in between children, and also the health of the mother when pregnant/nursing, Looking after a baby while you're pregnant can be very tiring. Your body won’t have fully recovered from the last pregnancy. You may be excessively tired and easily run down. Iron and calcium stores will not have had time to replenish. The mothers psychological and emotional state must be put into consideration as well. 

My advice would be that couples patiently, prayerfully and deliberately make the decision together.


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