Thursday, May 30, 2013

Affairs, Affairs, Affairs - Mary Mary's Tina Campbell Reveals Husband's Infidelity

“Once I became aware [of the affair], I initially wanted to kill my husband,” she said. “I was considering adjusting the will, the living trust and all that kind of stuff. I did physically try to stab him. Several times…I never got to the point of physical harm, not really, but my words…My words hurt.”

Those are the words of Tina Campbell (the one with coloured hair) in the June edition of Ebony magazine. First of all, I am a die hard Mary Mary fan, Not just because of their music but the fact that they did not give in to the pressure to appeal to a more mainstream market and yet they do. Well done ladies!!!

Back to the matter at hand. Because Covenant Relationships is not a gossip blog or tabloid I had decided I would not write anything about the infidelity that Tina has made public. People were like "How can she work so hard to put their family first and not be appreciated. He knew what her career was and how demanding it could be. But she still made time. She even fought with her manager and sister just to put him first and respect him and this is how he repays her?"

I must admit I said to myself "Why does the world have to know about it? I cannot figure out why people's lives have to be an open book. Tina Girl, don't you know that attempted threat to do bodily harm is a crime? But then I realised what I wanted was for her to maintain the perfect public image so that the Body of Christ would not have to deal with the bad press. The truth is, fantasy is what people want, but reality is what they need. I have to thank Tina for her transparency and truthfulness. She and her husband can help many, many couples by showing how they worked it out and how God can use all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purposes.

I dont know their specific circumstances but I know that many people marry persons who they know have no problem with sex outside of marriage, and sex with multiple partners. But they listen to Sade sing "My Love Is King" and they courageously tell themselves "My love will tame him/her" ignoring the demonic influence attached to it. I say demonic because while the demonic influence might lead a man  into sex (real and pornography), it leads the woman into physical and verbal intimidation to maintain "control" of him. Who's the pot and who's the kettle?

From where they were, there were two "solutions/routes". 1) divorce, or 2) both parties receive GODLY repentance. If they continue in this path of worldly counseling of feelings, "self help movement" (well Oprah said, or Dr. Phil said) one or both will go to jail.  I am not suggesting they rely on Godly repentance without utilizing the earthly resources available like counsellors etc I'm saying they have to start with GOD. Then there's the displaced responsibility - "he made me do it." No repentance comes from that. Only more demonic rage. Cheating is more than an action—it's an attitude. Changing the attitude requires the man (let's assume we are talking about cheating husbands for the moment) to change his attitude first, his behavior second. If only the behavior changes, the result will be superficial. His wife will always be nervous and insecure about a relapse hence the rage and suicidal tendencies and in Tina's case.

We in the Body think that "marriage" solves fornication. IT DOES NOT. Marriage merely covers for appearances, the will to intentionally sin, and the worship of another God. Even after marriage, the specific sin of fornication must be addressed and repented.

I was pleased to find that they chose the above mentioned route 2 above. Tina posted this on Facebook yesterday:

"Hi fans and friends. It’s Tina. I hope all of you are well and I thank you for all the love and support you’ve shown my sister and I over the years. Well, Im actually writing you on behalf of my husband Teddy and I. I’m assuming that many of you have seen or heard about our article in Ebony that discussed the challenges of overcoming infidelity in our marriage. Well since the article, the challenges have worsened. My hope turned into hopelessness & despair and I became unwilling to forgive and fight, until God showed me myself.
My husband’s struggle, was with sexual immorality BUT I have struggled with anger, rage, unforgiveness, pride, just to name a few, for over 2 decades. The devil wanted to use strongholds that took hold of our lives in our childhood, to remain and destroy us as adult. So now instead of being mad at each other we’re mad at the devil and we’re ready to fight.
Today we began a 30 day fast (May 24th-June 22nd) for complete deliverance & restoration. If u are able to, please fast and/or pray daily that God would answer our prayer and give us a deeper love & commitment to him and to each other. We believe he still works miracles and he can give us the greatest marriage we could have ever imagined. We can pray alone BUT your prayers will certainly help."

Have a blessed day people!!!

Ijeoma Olujekun

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