Monday, October 21, 2013

Correcting your Spouse

“Last summer, my husband and I were leaving that morning for the beach to a few days vacation when the car suddenly stopped and my husband, being the handy man, jump-started the vehicle and got it going. I thanked him and asked him respectfully with a smile, "We have time to go by the store and buy another one" but he said, “No, I think we will be fine.” (A few years ago, I would have insisted that we get another battery). Well, I decided to respect his decision as the head of the family and said politely “ok”, whatever you think! 
We stopped on the way to get more foodstuff and my husband parked the car. When he tried to crank up later, the battery was dead. A few years ago I am sure I would have berated him with an “I told you to replace that battery” lecture and a lot of attitude. But I have learned to respect my husband, so I didn’t say anything nasty, I was totally calm and at peace”…..

Culled from

Have you ever hated the way your spouse corrects your mistake? Believe me, it is not always fair. As a couple, one of your roles is to correct your spouse’s bad behavior. How do you correct your wife’s mistakes like burnt or salty food, leaving the house untidy, etc? On the other hand, how do you correct your husband for over speeding, keeping late nights, drinking, forgetting your birthday or wedding anniversary, etc?

How and when you correct your spouse matters a lot. Do you rebuke each other publicly or escalate issues that can be sorted amicably between the two of you? Correcting your spouse makes him/her a better husband/wife but this is not always fun. There will be times that your patience will be tested-to-the limits. That is why you should always be ready to face marriage challenges with patience, love and humility. 

Most men do not want their wives to correct them but I think its an ego thing. The way and manner you correct your spouse will either make your marriage better or worse. You need not shout when correcting your spouse, you can correct him/her in a mild and subtle way like “Honey, I know you forgot to tidy the room and you know I don’t like clothes hanging around”. She immediately gets the message that she needs to clean the room. You need not sound like “Helen (You’ll address her by her name, not honey), how many times must I repeat the same thing”? You are not correcting her this way, but insulting her and making her feel inferior. I had a recent conversation with five married men and all of them said they made a mistake of teaching their wives how to drive; that wives don’t heed to corrections when their husbands are their teachers and their efforts were not appreciated. Our wives, is this true?.......please comment

Correcting your spouse should not be a difficult task but the way and manner in which the correction is done matters a lot. 


  1. I think it's the other way around- it's husbands who don't like taking correction from their wives. Somewhere in their minds, they think being the head of the house equals knowing everything and even if they don't, they believe that they definitely know more than the wife!

  2. An act most men are guilty of. Weaker sex does not necessarily mean weaker brains. No one is perfect. When corrected we know more (only if accepted in good faith). Men guilty of the act should climb down from their high horse(s).
    Otunba Oyelakin Dnaiel

  3. Couldn't learn driving from my husband lol.had to get my siblings to teach me.


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