Sunday, April 13, 2014

Get That Healthy Kind Of Love

Love really does have different sides and lately it has become really hard to define. Lines have been blurred and what some call love might just be a misplaced feeling of lust or obsession. While these other shades might bear semblance to true love, there are notable differences and it is safe for one to be able to tell the difference. Love doesn’t have to come with strife. It is alright for lovers to have arguments but how they pull through each of their hurdles is reflective of how deep and how matured their love is or if they are really in love or not.

An old friend shared with me that she was back with her ex who used to beat her but lavishes her with lots of gift. The guy said he has changed and she thinks he has.

 I was tempted to sit her down and have one of those long girlfriend talks that I am positive she wouldn’t want any of, considering that it wasn’t going to be our first or second intervention talks. I love her so much and I wish her well. Just like her, I truthfully want to believe the guy is a changed person now and those times are over but like they say habits die hard (sometimes).

Love to her is how he gets very possessive and jealous over her. I can’t fault her understanding of love; however it is alright when such myopic definition of love is pointed out. I am not one for ‘told you so’s and I hope I wouldn’t have to use the phrase with her.

Love is jealous but that is not the only attribute that love possesses.

There are so many other people guilty of sticking with a very narrow definition of love.

Some couples think they should be together forever because they are infatuated with themselves at particular times in their lives. This has led to many divorces in recent times. We hear them say ‘we are no longer in love’.

It is normal to hear ‘I love you’ being thrown around like it means nothing.

There is the healthy kind of love. The one the scripture described;

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 Love never fails. 1Corithians 13:4-8

This love described is definitely not the kind that couples that say they are no longer in love feel or felt for themselves.

If you are ever in doubt as to whether what you feel or what exists between you and another is real love,  then measure it against this scriptural scale.

Don’t be caught up in a loveless kind of ‘love’ holding on to very myopic definitions of what love is.

Love is sacred, let’s keep it so.


  1. Nice post.. my husband said if I love him I'll be able to cover up and not inform my people if he beats me since I know my people hate it.. love! What kind of stupid love is that.. planning my seperation because I'm sure it will happen again. He's trying to bully me into silence. He even asked me if he beats me again who I'll tell, I said no1 since I love him.. well I'm not that stupid

  2. Thanks for the feedback. I am sorry about your marriage. Glad to know that you know you deserve better. I pray God heals you and guides you in your future endeavour.

  3. Its sad as women we aren't able to tell true love from false love. It is also sad when we fail to take the time to know who we r getting involvedme with we r the ones who get hurt .
    True love is real but very elusive.


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