Thursday, January 21, 2016

On Giving Second Chances in Marriage

The institution of marriage is one that was built to last but these days, even the most frivolous reasons can send a couple to the divorce courts. I have heard of couples who got divorced because the lady kept pressing the toothpaste tube in the middle, and the man just didn’t know how to use cutlery the proper way. In many cases, marriages have hit the rocks for genuinely hurtful reasons that I have found disheartening. Cases of abuse, infidelity, and a general lackadaisical attitude towards a spouse are some of the more serious reasons some marriages hit the rocks. 

I’ve had to ask myself: how do couples end up together for more than 30 years? How do they celebrate anniversaries and appreciate each other more as the years go by? How do they make it to the point where their marriage is unbreakable? How do they make it to the point where they stick together like they can never ever be apart? The answer is second chances. 

For your marriage to work out, you must be willing to give a second chance. This does not apply to men or women who are being emotionally or physically abused or those whose spouses are serial cheaters. In that case, I’d advise you to seek help and preserve yourself. However, for other issues such as differences of opinion, family interference, etc. second chances can save your marriage. 

It is difficult for your spouse not to offend you in any way all through your marriage; it is statistically impossible as a matter of fact. Difference will rise, and some of them will be more difficult to overcome than the others. There are times you will feel like packing your bags and leaving for good; afterall, as a single individual, you did not have to deal with all the baggage that comes with being married. There are times you will actually pack your bags and leave to find peace within yourself. There are times you will wonder if being married is worth all the hype it is made out to be. The important thing during such times is to work through whatever has hurt you. Find a trustworthy person you can speak to and pour your heart out. More importantly, pour out your heart to your spouse. It is difficult for a person to change what they are unaware of so let your spouse know what you can’t accept. 

Give second chances again and again; as amazing as your spouse may be, he/she is not infallible. The marriages we admire today were built on second chances. XOXO

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