Monday, March 21, 2016

How You’re Killing Your Child’s confidence

Many parents are unaware of it, but the way they address their children’s confidence levels plays a big role in how the children perceive themselves. Ideally, I’d like to think every parent wants to raise confident and happy children who are secure in their identity; however cultural beliefs and behavioural norms parents pick up from the environment around them may cause them to break their children without even knowing it. 

The one thing parents do that hurt the confidence of their kids the most is tell them they are over-confident. You’ve probably said it to your child many times without weighing the effect it has. The phrase “you are/were overconfident” is often a result of a child failing to meet up to expectation at the last minute or losing out on a competition at the final stage. Rather than encourage, many parents use this phrase to explain a child’s failure. They single it out as the cause of failure and make their children feel bad for ever feeling confident. 

Here is something you should learn as parents; A child does not know the meaning of ‘over-confident’. Children are optimistic, and the more they do better, the more optimistic they get. Their confidence levels increase, and many times they believe they have the prize they are aiming for in the bag; not because they are over-confident, but because they are optimistic. By telling them after they fail that they are over-confident, you’re creating doubt about their abilities within them. You are making them question themselves. You are telling them to keep quiet rather than speak up even when they know they are right. You are breaking their confidence, their spirit. 

The next time your child fails at the last minute or loses out unexpectedly, don’t blame it on overconfidence. Don’t kick them while they are down. Rather encourage; there will be more opportunities and they did their best this time. Just don’t blame it on them being too confident, because really, there is no such thing as ‘too much confidence’ when you believe in yourself

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