Monday, May 16, 2016

The Adult's Guide to Choosing Friends

Friends are important in our lives. Whether we like to admit it or not, we all have those days when we really want our friends around , even if we are simply sitting on the couch staring at the TV and talking about nothing in particular. These days, friendships seem to be built spontaneously. Many people exchange utterances for a few minutes and immediately classify each other as friends. Some people become friends based on a shared negative perception of someone or something... but one thing has become clear in recent times - more people are being betrayed by their friends and they just don't know how or why their friends have suddenly turned on them. Based on this new wave, I have come up with a simple five-point guide to help you choose the most amazing friends ever. 

#1 Don't just go with the flow: Many friendships are built based on people simply going with the flow of the more powerful person. Some people are like leaves on a lake, simply drifting with the flow of the lake, willing to go wherever it leads. As a n adult, you cannot have such friendships. You must make the conscious effort to choose your friends. If you are willing to make this effort, you are more likely to observe your potential friends better and make well-informed decisions. 

#2 Don't unite with a person based on a mutual negative perception of someone else: The fast way to become friends with a person is to gossip about someone else. The fastest way to also expose yourself e to attacks and backbiting is by becoming friends with a person whose first discussion with you is based on the negative perception of someone else. I think as an adult, there are some things you need not engage in, and the biggest one is gossip.

#3 Be Yourself: Many people tend to lose themselves in friendships because they want to keep the friendship really badly. Hence, they end up losing their values, and following everything their friends say, even when they are not OK with it. 

#4 Avoid hot-tempered people: Hot tempered friends are difficult to deal with for the simple reason that they are hot-tempered and are difficult to reason with. If you have  a hot-tempered friend, chances are you will be at the receiving end of anger and bitterness all the time, and you might find yourself having to apologize over and  over again. My opinion? Not worth it. 

#5 Avoid the Competition: Some people become friends not because they like each other but because they want to compete more closely. As a grown individual, you do not need to engage in any form of competition. Your main aim should be being better than you've been in the past, not being better than your friend. And if you have a friend who's always trying to compete with you, it's time to loosen the strings. 

The general rule for me is to select friends with whom I can have conversations without battering anyone's image, friends I can call on to pray with me, friends I can call on for advice, cry with, celebrate with, and above all friends who push me to be better just as much as I push to be better. XOXO

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