Monday, December 19, 2016

You Need The 'Wing-Man' Mentality

Image result for obama and biden

If you are reading this, you have probably heard of the term 'wing man'. Many people use it to introduce their best buddies, their work partners, and really anyone else who holds a significant position their life. On Sunday morning while preparing for church, my thoughts drifted to Obama's administration (weird I know). I found myself admiring the fact that he led two scandal-free terms and took an economy that was in the gutter when he was sworn into power, and raised it back to better standards. Surely he did not do any of that of his own. Of course he had Michelle to support him and push him when necessary, but he also had a wing-man - Joe Biden. 

I imagined for a while what America would have been like if Joe Biden and Obama did not get along. In what state would the country be if they antagonized each other or saw each other as the enemy most of the time. What if they didn't have a common goal and simply were there to push their own personal agenda. Yes, Obama had Michelle, but she could not help him run the country. He needed Joe Biden on every level to be his wing-man, his support system and his decision partner. 

This got me thinking about relationships and marriages. Many people get married to fulfill their own personal agenda, i.e. being more respected in the community, having children, having someone to do the laundry and cook their dinners, or simply just having a different last name so that they do not feel left behind. In such marriages, there is often an imbalance of emotional, psychological, physical, intellectual and spiritual commitment. As a result, one party is viewed as 'highly disposable' - a feather that can easily be removed or replaced, because afterall, there are better people out there. In such relationships, there are no common goals, no common vision, no common direction, hence it is easy to take each other for granted. There is no 'wing-man' dynamics; in some  cases couples even compete to outshine each other. 

If you are married, you need to develop the 'wing-man' mentality. You need to see your spouse as your 'wing-man' (I am speaking to both men and women here). Your partner is not the enemy (that is if you are not being abused). Your partner is not someone to compete against. Your partner is not the opposition. If you have the wing-man mentality, your partner becomes your strategy partner, your winning partner, and when times are bad, your losing partner, but a supportive partner nonetheless. The wing-man mentality means your partner is part of every decision, in the know regarding every move, and is your go-to person when you are caught between the Egyptians and the red sea. A marriage where both partners have the wing-man mentality is more likely to thrive and is most often above petty issues. XOXO

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