3 Things You Shouldn't Do After A Break-Up

Some of us are lucky at love while others are not so lucky.

There are so many online relationship recipes on how to get Mr. right and some on how to keep the perfect Mr.

As clever as some of these suggestions are, you need no soothsayer to tell you these kinds of advice are tainted. This is because Mr Right is a fluid concept. The one that is perfect for me may be wrong for someone else.

I don’t intend to make this post about philosophies. Trust me, it is far from what I intended.

I am really more concerned about what happens after a supposed beautiful relationship collapses. Do you wallow in the pit of self-pity or you pick yourself up in a bid to announce to the world that you are doing just fine?

Better still, do you allow

8 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Get Married(2)

(This is a continuation. Kindly read the first installment  here·        

• Don’t get married hoping to replicate another couple’s marital success: Mentors are good but there is that point where the line should be drawn. We all are different and our situations aren’t the same thing. If you are thinking of getting married hoping your husband/wife ought to be like your dad/mum or hoping your husband ought to be like your friend’s husband, then you are not ready yet. Things get negotiated for in marriages, you shouldn’t impose a vacation you might not be able to afford.

• Don’t get married because those around you are pressuring you to: The society puts everything in one’s face. You see your old schoolmates and their cousins saying the big ‘Yes’ and it is hard not to wonder when yours will come. My dear, everyone’s time is different, don’t ever allow all these get to you. It will definitely come for you at your assigned time.it is your life and you should live by your rules. Family and friends might mean well but they won’t be the one married to a mistake. Take your time, the change in status doesn’t translate to happiness if you get it wrong. Don’t allow the pressure make you make all the wrong choices.

•  Don’t get married just for better finances: Look for better reasons to love him/her and judge him now before the ring. What if he loses that great job or she becomes incapacitated? What becomes of the bills and probably your children’s welfare? You are not allowed to be so short sighted.Asides from all these, All that glitters isn’t gold is a very familiar and true phrase. You need to look for something deeper and also work on yourself. Trust me when I say you don’t want to be broke, divorced and miserable. 

Much Ado About Weddings:Less Focus On What Really Matters

I love weddings. I wasn’t much of a fan before now so it is safe to say adulthood has finally caught up with me. I love love unashamedly. I delight in beautiful love stories of forever ever afters. I even consciously had to get my head off fairy tale expectations of long flowing gowns and tall dark and handsome brave men. I love how two seemingly different people could be in love enough to want to stay in each other’s life for a lifetime.

 

 I have to say however that weddings have become carnivals.There is so much emphasis on the physical appearance that noone cares about the emotional or spiritual health of the couple.There was a kind of unspoken order to how things were done in the earlier times. One wonders if the increase in divorce rate in recent times is as a result of lack of tolerance or just plain misprioritization. Counselling used to be a big deal in those days, elders hammered on the significance of great advice that couples need to get before they say their vows. There was a lot of importance placed on getting to know the families involved because all these serve as the foundation needed for a long lasting relationship. 

Imagine the shock you get when after a year, you are informed that the couple in a wedding you attended broke up. One wonders at what the noise about weddings are when people find it hard to make the marriage work. As high as the divorce rates are, it is surprising to see that the wedding industry is fast becoming one of the most vibrant industries .