Thursday, February 26, 2015

Much Ado About Weddings:Less Focus On What Really Matters

I love weddings. I wasn’t much of a fan before now so it is safe to say adulthood has finally caught up with me. I love love unashamedly. I delight in beautiful love stories of forever ever afters. I even consciously had to get my head off fairy tale expectations of long flowing gowns and tall dark and handsome brave men. I love how two seemingly different people could be in love enough to want to stay in each other’s life for a lifetime.
 I have to say however that weddings have become carnivals.There is so much emphasis on the physical appearance that noone cares about the emotional or spiritual health of the couple.There was a kind of unspoken order to how things were done in the earlier times. One wonders if the increase in divorce rate in recent times is as a result of lack of tolerance or just plain misprioritization. Counselling used to be a big deal in those days, elders hammered on the significance of great advice that couples need to get before they say their vows. There was a lot of importance placed on getting to know the families involved because all these serve as the foundation needed for a long lasting relationship. 

Imagine the shock you get when after a year, you are informed that the couple in a wedding you attended broke up. One wonders at what the noise about weddings are when people find it hard to make the marriage work. As high as the divorce rates are, it is surprising to see that the wedding industry is fast becoming one of the most vibrant industries . 

The focus has shifted from the couple and the needed values to mundane things. These days, the couple are bothered by things like the person designing the wedding dress, the make up artist the bride wants to use for her big day, the quality of aso ebi and the coordination of the colours, the floral arrangement of the reception hall, the class of guests they want to grace their wedding. The band that will play, the kind of drinks they want served, the MC that will anchor the wedding and all other things that don’t necessarily add value to the life the couple would live after the wedding.

I am not saying there should be no fanfare, I am just saying the focus should be brought back on what really matters which is the marriage .I know someone that had a lavish wedding but doesn’t even have a job. Let’s assume the bulk of money came from his rich relatives wouldn’t it have made more sense if part of the money was given to him to start a business that might have made him able to care for his immediate family needs. He has marital issues because he finds it hard to fend for his family. Bear in mind that he is just one of so many others.

Much as i love weddings,you'll it is just for a day while marriage lasts for a lifetime. Getting to know the family and going for counselling could reveal some foundational issues that might plague the marriage in later times. This could have saved some marriages because they might discover though counselling just how incompatible they both are.

 You need not spend money you don’t have because you are trying to impress people that don’t truly care about you . Just do the necessary,you need not break a bank for your wedding,Just do the needful..

God Bless.,uk

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