Wednesday, February 18, 2015

What Do Men Really Want?

It appears to me that men put up a confused front when it comes to women, claiming they don't know what women really want. Some men have it wrong and assume women only want money, while some believe women only want to date and marry fire-spitting, demon-chasing pastors. Well, I say it depends on the woman, however, I am not sure if the same can be said about men.

I have always been of the opinion that men, or perhaps I should say most men like to have a woman they can call their partner in every way and everything. A woman who stands by them when the chips are down, and celebrates their success when they find favour. Perhaps, the latter is a comfortable feeling for men, but I am fast beginning to learn that many men do not want a woman who is sympathetic to their hardship. Perhaps I might be wrong.

I was having a conversation at work with a couple of ladies, and somehow we got to the topic of standing by a man when he is going through hard times. I stood firmly for the notion that a woman should not abandon, or put financial strain on  a man she's dating especially if he is already going through a hard time. These ladies, who are older than I am, and I believe more experienced burst out laughing and pointed out that ladies like me hardly ever get married because we don't know how to make men feel like men. Oh?! According to them, it is important during courtship to make your man feel like a man (a topic for another day) by placing merciless demands on him for your everyday, weekly or monthly needs. You have to ensure you do not make any contributions where his job or business is concerned, and you must make sure you let him understand you are his subordinate. This kind of attitude apparently gives a man an ego boost because it gives him the impression that you are dependent on him. They pointed out to me that men do not want to be with women who stand by them, cover them financially when they don't have any bacon to bring home, or women who simply take care of their own needs without depending on the man (who they are not yet married to by the way). They do not want women with opinions or women who give them advice.

I'm yet to understand this train of thought. Really it confuses me. I have read many articles, books and other pieces of literature authored by men where they make it clear that they want a partner in every way, a woman who can make decisions in their absence, and stand firm in her aspirations and pursuits.  Now I'm torn; I take it these women were speaking from experience. Do men really feel better when their lady puts strain on them? or are women simply succumbing to the art of the entertaining men with low or broken self-images? I have pondered over this for some time and yet to find a conclusion. What is it exactly that men want?

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