Monday, February 23, 2015

Are You Sending The Wrong Signals?

Nothing hurts more than giving love to someone that can never give it back  in the same way. Our hearts are very tender and we tend to guide it as best as we can but there are times things spiral out of our control and we fall helplessly in love with another. We find ourselves at the person’s mercy and we hope and pray that the person feels the same way for us.One can snap out of this feeling easily if one doesn't get any green light from the person involved but there are times one can swear one got the green light but one still ends up heartbroken because it wasn't the green light afterall. 

Life is filled with twists which means things don’t always happen as we imagine they would. We think things in our head imagining a straight road but life reminds us there are speedbumps, potholes, bad weather and more. We are naturally selfish beings. We are conditioned to think of ourselves first before we do others but there are times when we need to step into other people’s shoes in order to make the right choices especially in situations involving the heart.

One cannot control whom one falls for but one needs to apply discretion so one doesn’t fall victim of exploiters. One also needs to keep one’s eyes open so as not to misread common acts of kindness as the confirmation that the other person is equally in love.
I used to have a friend back in the days who thought I had a thing for him because I took it upon myself to get him out of some terrible fix he was in back then. It was when he started acting funny that I had to make him realize I did all I did with no strings attached.
In hindsight, I think I might have been guilty of sending the wrong messages. He had my ears any time, comfortable and uncomfortable times. I offered kind words and sometimes money, I felt I was on a mission but I was deeply misinterpreted. I knew he liked me so I was supposed to be more cautious around him.

Another instance of how one can send the wrong message is when one intentionally does it for selfish reasons. Such person is an exploiter. An exploiter is a person that is aware of one’s feelings and decides to capitalize on the feelings to satisfy his/her emotional or material need. It is not a giving that whoever one falls for would fall back but it is very selfish when the person that fell in love is prodded on. It is totally wrong to call a guy you feel nothing for in the middle of the night because you are scared. That way you are sending the wrong signal. You need to turn down some class of gifts or dates. You know what he wants and you still followed him out on a date to a very expensive restaurant when you already know in your mind that he isn’t your type. Haba! Save the poor guy some cash.

I know a guy that makes whoever he is with believe she is his everything while in truth, he just didn't want the girl  to stop cleaning and cooking. The poor girl feels settled when she is just a glorified maid.

It is absolutely necessary for us to be able to see past ourselves and be able to imagine ourselves in other people’s shoes. Being one's brother's keeper should be evident in all we do .If you are not interested, be very clear about it. Don’t prey on people’s feelings and please be mindful so as not to send the wrong signals.
 Heartbreaks can be very hurtful , don’t be the reason why someone else hurts if it can be avoided.

Have a beautiful week.

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