10 Things I Want My Husband to Know: ...and How to Tell Him (Review)

Popular author  explores biblical couples like Ruth and Boaz and Adam and Eve and her own marriage and offers a look at the ten things most wives want their husbands to know but have been reluctant (or too busy) to say, including:

• I want you to lead me spiritually
• When you help me around the house, I feel loved
• It is important you understand my need to feel financially secure
• Raising your children is my most important job
• I am available to you sexually

With godly advice and insights into the coven

Discover "The-First-Four-Minutes-Rule"

At the beginning of the marriage, many husbands and wives get into the habit of complaining about the day's frustrations as soon as you get home from work. “ Oh, the traffic was so bad, this country is doomed, the weather is so hot,  my coworkers are so …, can never get enough…, the kids are driving me up the wall etc After a while, though, you realized that if you discuss only problems with your spouse, there's a good chance you'll develop a problem relationship.

House Work Must Be Split 50/50 ?

“When I get married house chores must be split 50/50!!” declared a soon to be married career woman.

The question of division of labour in the home is a complicated one. No matter how much you want to divide responsibilities.Women are certainly going to do more child care for the simple fact that toddlers and older kids are always going to be like "My mummy, I want this, Mummy I want that, I will tell my mummy for you, Mummy see what he did, …" Women are going to spend more time in the kitchen too. This is the way it is we can't fight it. No amount of setting quotas or nagging will make any difference. In fact, it might make you even more exhausted. 

What Does Your Account Statement Look LIke???

We always have bank accounts and get inflated with pride, with seeing it’s balance ‘ballooning up’. We also, tend to restrict withdrawals, while intending to make more and more deposits therein to take the balance to satisfactory... naah, to enviable figures.

You and your spouse each have an “emotional bank.” You are either making deposits, or withdrawals into, or out of, your spouse’s bank. Because you tend to “speak” one love language … and your spouse “hears” another, what you were hoping to come across as loving and caring, ends up being heard as something completely different.

We make deposits into his/her account by praise, positive attention, sincere apologies, or acts of service. Examples of withdrawals are such things as criticism, sarcasm, ignoring, or failing to keep promises. If a relationship is wounded, we have probably made too many withdrawals and not enough deposits into that persons (emotional) bank account.

It might help you to think of these deposits as long-term investments. Like any investment, you might not see results immediately. Nevertheless, if you persist, the results will be obvious so, choose your deposits wisely.

Covenant Relationships would like to urge upon you to make more and more deposits in your emotional bank accounts, by affectionate touches, spending quality time together (at home and on special dates, loving words, encouraging words, celebrate each other's victories, helping out in unexpected ways, remembering important dates (birthdays, anniversaries etc,) occasional surprise gifts, showing respect and any others you can think of.

Women run a pay-as-you-go emotional account service...make your deposits daily-Leke Adler

By Ijeoma Olujekun

For relationship, parenting and marriage advice/ counselling or just a talk CLICK HERE

Golden Rules For A Golden Marriage (For women)

Last night a husband was complaining about how his wife is, and how women are generally. "How can she be disappointed because I am not barbing my son's hair tonight? Does that warrant disappointment?" He loves his wife so much and we know he will end up apologising but you know we women  blow some things out of proportion a times don't we? Here are some golden rules to help you keep things in perspective.

1. Don’t refight old fights. Let them go because there will be fights (I mean disagreements).
2. Try to always keep the sweetness of love present throughout your days.
3. Cook something special every once in a while. 
4. Laugh as much as you can – it keeps things in perspective.

Help! My Wife Can't Cook!!!

“I really need your help on this, because my wife is gradually driving me crazy, because she bores me with her tasteless foods, and I'm that kind of guy, that loves good food. What baffles me most is that, I can even cook better than her, but I can't take over the kitchen because, its her office (and I love her so much)...”

I have come across this as a complaint and a question many times. What if my wife-to -be can't cook?” or just the blatant declaration “my wife can't cook”. Sometimes it’s a matter of taste preference and other times the lady has just not had enough experience in the kitchen. I think the problem is not what if my wife can't cook but what if she doesn't want to know how to cook? For some people cooking comes naturally and to some it doesn’t.

Preachers of LA and others: Opinion piece

Are there times you wonder if the way you are serving God is the right way? I mean there are lots of churches, most of them with diverse doctrines. Do you wonder like I do if we all ain't a confused lot. There are many talks and competitions among us on who is attending the church with the ‘best tech savvy’ pastor and what have you. Ok, I am sorry, I sound like I am not making sense but I’d love you to stay with me, indulge me just for a little while.

I am in a new city now and I haven’t attended any church service since I got here. Funny thing is I felt the same way last year when I moved to Lagos though I later settled for one. I am sorry if that statement sounded arrogant but thing is the human soul is too important to be fed rubbish. I have enough knowledge to recognise that many of today’s churches have their individual brands of Jesus they are marketing.

Looking back now, I understand why the early church tried to maintain sanctity by bringing everyone under same umbrella (now, I know that had its falls, like I said earlier just indulge me). It’s like folks stick to the part of the bible that agrees with them. I was watching the TV and saw a trailer of a show that is going to start airing soon. The series is titled preachers of LA. What caught my eyes was the lavish lifestyle of the preachers and I know they ain't the only ones like that, there are many pastors living their lives on the fast lane in Nigeria too.

Photo credit: http://www.theblaze.com

Am I judging anyone? I’d say no. Like most people, I’d just want to know if the lowly Jesus supports this kind of lifestyle because I am truly befuddled. I am sick of churches building schools three-quarter of their congregation can’t afford. I am sick of seeing pastors surrounded by all manners of body guards and protocol officers, becoming inaccessible to the poor and wretched in their ministries. I am sick of the emphasis on the outward appearance like the soul of man is worn on his face. I am sick of seeing convicted thieves being treated specially ‘cause of the huge donations made to the church. I am sick of the new ‘pastor worship’ replacing the focus on Jesus. I am sick of the patriarchal system being run in churches like the pastors' sons are automatically called into the ministries.

Once again, I am not judging, I am probably airing the minds of a few others. Following the original message most definitely doesn’t mean living in penury but I am almost certain a pastor has no business rocking blings and priding on worldly establishments(again, I am not preaching the opposite, maybe I want for these pastors to check for the meaning of moderation) .

I’d love to state that I understand Jesus from who the bible says he is. I just need some clarification on this Jesus being marketed on the streets. I might not know many things but I am sure Jesus lived the life he preached and much as times have changed, the message is still one and the same – saving souls through unconditional love. Some of the messages being passed in churches these days will make some people steal, rather than redeem them cause as long as the pastor flashes his new brand of Ferrari and a known thief is given a royal welcome because of selfish interests, the church will continue to mislead souls rather than redeem them.

I believe the message is one and the same as God is not an author of confusion. As individuals, we have the responsibility of seeking the truth in God’s word and praying for the spirit of revelation while we are at it.

God bless us all.

You can watch the trailer of the "Preachers of LA" below