Friday, August 1, 2014

Before You Go Into Courtship....

I have read so many articles with titles like "Just before you say I do", "Before you into marriage", "Just before you walk down the aisle"....etc. Many of these articles usually focus on what people should or should not do before they get married, but it seems we have forgotten that before marriage, there is a wedding and before a wedding, there is an important phase of the relationship called the courtship. Many times, the nature of the courtship and the decisions taken during this phase will determine how the marriage turns out. Many are ignorant of this fact, and those who are aware choose to ignore the importance of the courtship phase.

Before you go into courstip, there are certain things you should and should not do, things you should know, and decisions you should have made as a single whole individual. I've listed three of these things below:

  • As a single individual, you need to have your vision board, either in your head or on a piece of paper where you can see it everyday. A vision board is a board that has all your wildest dreams about what you can become, and includes possible steps on how you might achieve them. Contrary to general belief, a vision board is not designed to 'box' you. It is not there to lay a definite path you must follow. It simply gives you a big picture of where you expect to see yourself in future. This picture is not simply for you to dream about your future achievements, it should be an important factor when it's time for you to select a partner. These days, many couples are mismatched in terms of dreams, visions, spirituality and so many other factors that contribute to a marriage. This often leads to abuse, or bitterness and it's only a matter of time before the cracks start to show. Have your vision board, so you can easily tell when someone shares the same vision as you, or a complementary vision. 
  • Know yourself and accept who you are. So many married couples are married to a camouflage of their real partner. People hide their true identities beneath masks of makeup, photoshopped pictures and status updates that do not truly reflect what they are about. As an individual, planning to go into a relationship like marriage, you need to know yourself and accept who you are. There is no point projecting a fake image to the other person, because sooner or later, the cracks will show! Being someone else is a tad too burdensome, your real self will emerge at some point and your partner will feel he or she was in a relationship with someone else.=
  • Know your standards. I know people are quick to jump and tell you to lower your standards, but I always say if your standards are reasonable, lowering them simply to join the 'Mrs' clique will land you in trouble. Know your standards; know what you are worth. You have lived your life by yourself, made certain decisions that most likely led you to success and made you the strong individual that you are. Don't settle for less! Aim for what you know you deserve. This does not apply to men or women who are hoping to meet an affluent member of the opposit sex to bail them out of life's troubles. If you are hardworking, intelligent and a visionary, it would be sad to waste your abilities in a relationship with a person who has a complacent and lackadaisical attitude towards life
The most important thing you need to know before you go into a courtship is YOU! You need to know yourself, what you stand for, what your aspirations are and the kind of marriage you hope to build. With this knowledge in place, it will be difficult for you to go wrong! Stay blessed XOXO


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