Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Don't Marry Him Just Yet!

I have noticed many women accept marriage proposals for one disturbing reason. No, it's not because they view marriage as an achievement that makes them worthy of celebration by society's standards. Many women accept marriage proposals simply because "that's who's available and they might not get another shot at this marriage thing". Many women accept proposals because they believe they have to accept any man who appears serious and offers marriage, then they wonder why their marriages go downhill when this person starts to exhibit traits they didn't know he had, and flex muscles they didn't think he would. Many ladies choose their husbands solely based on the butterflies they get when they see him, the Brazilian hair he buys and the sweet things he says. The question is should that be the basis? Yea, I can already see you shaking your head "no". However, do you know what it is you should be looking out for exactly? Probably not. 

When a man proposes marriage and says all the right things, don't be quick to jump to jump on his bandwagon, no matter how exciting the idea of journeying with him might be. You need to first ask yourself crucial questions that have nothing to do with his bank account or list of qualifications. 

#1 Does he have a direction for his life? This is a crucial question because believe it or not, the man you end up with is leading you somewhere. The important thing to know is where. If he has no direction for his life, he will lead you in circles and other indescribable patterns similar to a toddler's doodling. 

#2 Does his direction in life correlate with mine? You are a woman, not a waste of space and oxygen. Before you meet the one, I expect that you are already connecting with your God-given purpose. Will the man you are about to marry encourage you in that purpose and walk with you? Or will he discourage that purpose for his selfish interests? If your directions are aligned, chances are he will encourage you. 

#3 Does he know why he is choosing me? No it shouldn't be because you are wife material. Anybody can be tied and dyed into wife material under the right conditions. But has he identified something else within you that makes him want to stay true to the elements of love such as respect, tolerance, understanding, nurture and empathy? Cos if the reason he's choosing you is solely because you are wife material, beware. He is probably looking to see how you can serve him and not how he can serve you in return. A good marriage works both ways. 

#4 Does he have the right values to instill in our children if we have children? The fact is your children will become you and your husband. If you think raising the children is your sole responsibility, shake your head vigorously now and let that thought fall out of your head. Raising children is the responsibility of both parents. Parents are the first examples of relationships children see, and it affects how they view relationships in future. Would you want your son to be like him? Do you want your daughter to end up with a man like him? 


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