Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Should the Man Always Pick Up the Tab?

It seems like a normal social conditioning that men should always pick up the tab in a relationship. I grew up with this conditioning but recently, I have found myself questioning the grounds for it. In our normal societal context, when a man and a woman go on a date for the first time, the man should pick up the tab.  If the relationship progresses beyond the initial stages of 'introduction' and becomes a friendship, society suggests that the man should continue to pick up the tab. Now it gets more interesting... when the relationship becomes a courtship, the man is still expected to continue to pick up every single tab... and I have to wonder... do men pick up the tabs for the rest of their lives?

This is my belief: in our emerging society, some basic rules must still apply. Surely, when a man invites a lady out on a first date, he should pick up the tab, and while he tries to woo her, he should pick up the tab. However, once it becomes a full relationship with proper commitments and no games, the lady should aim to pick up the tab once in a while. Why should she? Simple! The man works just like she does, and I can bet you there are 1001 other things he would rather do with his money. If he is offering to take you on a date to spend time with you, it would not hurt for you to pick up the tab to show him you appreciate his thoughtfulness.

Many ladies are of the wrong belief that men are to be used for financial gains, culinary support and flashy gifts that give them a boost with their friends. Some women go to the extent of seeking out the most expensive item on the menu just because they know they don't have to pay for it. Some women find it abominable to even buy a man a proper gift (and no a pair of boxers every year is not a proper gift, except you are happy with a pair of panties every year for the remainder of the relationship). Many women believe the man must seek to please them by all means, and truly, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that... as long as you show him the same respect, nurture and kindness.

If you've been in a relationship for a long time, and you have never picked up the tab, give it a shot. As a matter of fact, invite your man out on a date and spoil him on your own account. Yes, he will offer to pay but it's a treat for him so he shouldn't. When it's time to give gifts, don't expect a car while you buy him a napkin. Please don't buy him a pair of boxers either except his boxers are torn and he has no idea where to buy his own boxers. Put some thought into what you give to your man. It shows how you perceive him.  Planning a holiday? Offer to pay some of the costs. No you're not showing off, you're picthing in like a partner should. XOXO

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