Thursday, December 5, 2013

It all started when I told her about my past. She doesn't trust me anymore

I know when all this started. It all started when I told her that I employed the services of prostitutes before I got married. Now she thinks I run after any thing in skirts. She does not believe that I can have any decent conversation with any female neighbour. How can I get her to trust me again? I wish I had not told her about my philandering past.

This was a plea from a desperate husband who was keen on salvaging his marriage from the throes of distrust.

I do believe and advise that all tales must be told before marriage. Both parties should understand that if one party decides to take a walk, it is because that party cannot handle this information. This means that the party would take it even more seriously after marriage. If you are truly ashamed of some things that may have happened before you met the lady you are thinking of marrying, speak to God about it. I do assume that you would have already repented of the sin before God.

Going into any marriage, I do believe that no one is entirely perfect. If you are, Thanks be to God. So you should try not to condemn someone who has decided, based on the love (s)he has for you, to tell you about their hidden secrets. Also understand that at this point, this person is very vulnerable. However, you do understand that you can still walk away if you cannot handle it. People are wired differently. So if you feel that your husband to-be used to patronise call-girls and you cannot handle it, please let him know and walk away. Do not, for whatever reason, bring this issue up to spite him after marriage. This would be unfair.

Note that if you decide to keep the information about your infamous escapades from your spouse until after marriage, you should not be surprised if he or she decides to take it the wrong way. This might affect the Trust in this marriage.

So be informed and be guided.

1 comment:

  1. How about when your husband confesses to you that he cheated on you? Yes, mine did a few days ago. Right now, I do not know how I feel. I told him I have forgiven him but each time I look at him,I just feel betrayed. Things can't be the same again. He regrets what he did and has asked God for forgiveness. I want to let go but how do I take this thought out of mt head? Right now, I wish he never told me. How do I restore the bond we used to have? Am very very pained. At the same time, I feel pity for him, he is really torturing himself because of it. Please I need advise.


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