Saturday, December 28, 2013

Let's dig a little deeper ladies!

Like I promised at the end of my last post, ladies, you are up first!

This post was inspired by something I observed over the past few months during discussions with colleagues and friends. It's not news that women tend to discuss men when they are alone or having some girl time.

I noticed during these girl times, whenever one of us said "Oh I met this really hot guy!" The very next question would be "Does he have a car?" "Where does he work?" "How does he look?" By the way, if the answers to the first two questions are "Yes" and "A Fortune 500 company", the answer to the third question is insignificant. He can be old and scrawny or even have a spitting condition where every word of his speech is accompanied by a spit spray, it wouldn't matter.

I once had the unhappy opportunity of watching a friend disrespected by someone she assumed was her man (don't get me started on the assumption part) and when I asked why she put up with it, she said "He got me a new phone. If I walk away now, it will seem like that's all I've always wanted." A phone? You sell your integrity for a phone?... That's what went through my mind but I couldn't bring myself to say because the deeper I dug into her affair with this guy, the more my eyes were opened.

My friend wasn't in it for the money. Don't get things wrong. She's from a great family but she was in it for the class. According to her, it's hard to meet a guy that's not intimidated by her status so when she met Mr. Rude and arrogant, it didn't matter that he had no respect and seized every opportunity he got to humiliate her. All that mattered was that he wasn't intimidated and he could 'afford' her.

Why do we do that? Seek for shallow factors in the opposite sex? If it's not for money, some of us are in it for the integrity a man will bestow upon us. I once read a status on BBM that said "Lord bless my man abundantly so I can enjoy the fragrance of his success". I was like huh???!!!

How shallow are we? We spend time looking at superficial factors when the things that really matter are beneath the surface. Have you spoken to a miner? Ask how far they have to dig to strike gold. If they stayed on the surface, they'd only strike wood, dirt, pebbles, and probably a lot of earthworms.

Ladies dig beyond his flashy clothes, beyond his car that's big enough to serve as a tour bus. Dig beyond his ostentatious attitude, dig beyond his bank account! His character is most important, his respect for the sanctity of a relationship, his respect for you, his love and care and his attitude when he's with you.

Don't get me wrong! I'm not saying goodlooking, rich men are bad. It would help if the world had more of them actually. But beneath all that, there needs to be respect, there needs to be belief in your dreams, motivation and of course, there needs to be God in him. Sadly, many women are too scared to even spend time alone in their own room so any man will do! Stop putting yourself in situation-ships where mind games and manipulation are the order of the day.

Seek something deeper, something better! Good looks, flashy clothes, flashy cars, expensive furniture...these are things that money can buy, but respect, love, faithfulness, loyalty, motivation and happiness are priceless! 

Dig deep!

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