I have been studying myself and unsuspecting friends, colleagues and acquaintances for some time now and I have come to the conclusion that a low self-esteem eats deeper than we realize sometimes. Sadly, I see many people in their late twenties and even early thirties happily riding the low self-esteem wagon without even knowing it. How do I know? I've been there, done that, got and burned all the tshirts.
Here are some signs you are battling a low self-esteem and you don't even know it.
- You Love Hiding: Many people with a low self-esteem are quick to hide; they are eager to blend in with the furniture the moment they walk into a room full of people. Being an introvert is very different from consciously making an effort to make sure no one notices you. You are worried they'll notice that tiny acne scar that you've tried all treatments on but still remains stuck on your face, You're worried they'll notice your uneven skin tone or perhaps they won't find anything you have to say valuable. If this is you, it's time to crawl out of your hiding place!
- You like to be noticed: There are people that will go out of their way to make sure they get noticed. They are the opposite of those who love hiding. Instead of hiding, you want every one at the party to turn and stare at you. You are hungry for compliments, you are hungry for stares. Even if the stares mean "What on earth is she wearing?" you are not bothered in the least, the most important thing is they are all staring. Living your life based on what others think of you is one of the biggest signs of low self-esteem people often brush aside. I know some people whose days will be considered dreadful and horrifying if no one paid them a single compliment. If this is you, it is time to stop seeing yourself through the eyes of other people and see yourself through God's eyes.
- You live above your means: This is very common amongst young people today; no one wants to be 'left behind' when it comes to the latest phones, new clothes every week, that limited edition handbag, living in that expensive surburb or whatever else floats your boat. It would be great if you can afford them all, then really, nothing would be wrong with wanting them. However, when they are beyond your means and you need to lie on your back to get it from someone or borrow cash from a friend to buy food simply because you spent your allowance on a pair of Louboutin heels, then you have a low self-esteem! Like the person who likes to be noticed, you are scared if people know what you can really afford within your means, they won't consider you worthy to be liked by anyone. You spend money you don't have to impress people that don't care if you grow an extra leg. It's time to start living within your means and working hard to reach that lifestyle you've always dreamed of. Let people love you for who you are, not because of what you have.
- You are an over-achiever: Many people battling with low self-esteem are over achievers. They feel the need to constantly acquire something, anything, that would make them look like they are living the dream and are not in need of anything else. Well, that lie is transparent. Many people like this are never satisfied with whatever they achieve; once the novelty wears off, they are off on another quest! This is because they have a void to fill; a void they can't explain, they like to hide behind their achievements so people on the outside can see them as secure, well-achieved and all those things that sound good on paper. Deep inside, they are battling with insecurities they wish the world won't see!
- You are Judgmental: We are a bit judgmental but there are those people that simply take it too far! Such people are judgmental of successful people spending their money, they are judgmental of a beautiful young girl that wants to become a model, they are judgmental of fat people, they are judgmental of skinny people, they are judgmental of people who are simply living their lives happily, they are just judgmental period! You could have a halo on your head and wings sticking out of your back, all dressed in white and they'd still judge you. They are probably analyzing and judging this post right now. Such people tend to judge those that have what they strongly desire but are yet to achieve. They judge successful people and come up with ideas as to how those people must have made their money through dodgy ways, they judge people that spend their money on expensive items; "she just wants to show off" or "He simply wants the world to know he got a better job" *sigh! Dealing with such people is exhausting and believe me, they will not admit to having a lower self-esteem. Be sure that if you try to point it out to them, they'll most likely start judging you too!