Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Three Reasons That He Is Not Ready To Settle Down And What You Should Do

Being in love with another is always a good feeling. Completing each other's sentences and checking out all the new joints in town together adds so much fire to the passion new couples share. The honeymoon phase is something lovers don't want to get over but time has taught us that that period doesn't last forever. Real life issues come up and decisions have to be made. 

For ladies, the need to settle down arises, the gifts and cards mean less as the years run by. This is understandable because the biological clock keeps ticking and the society has some level of expectation that ladies feel compelled to reach. I know someone that has been dating her boyfriend for more than eight years and he is yet to pop the question. Some ladies have lost their self esteem, blaming themselves for their partner's inability to make this life changing decisions.

I think this is wrong as most guys have minds of their own.

There are several reasons why a man might not be ready to settle down. In the course of writing this post, I asked a male friend of mine why he didn't eventually get married to his girlfriend of many years and I found his reply quite enlightening.
  • He said he started dating his ex-girlfriend while he was a freshman in college, at the time, both of them were just cool with having fun with each other but all that changed during youth service. She wanted them to settle down when all that was on his mind was building a great career. One cannot say he acted wrongly because the traditional male feels the need to provide for his family and makes that a priority. Both of them in this situation were not on the same page.
  • This brings me to my next point. It is necessary for ladies to have reasonable expectations. I know people date themselves from their teens to older years. If one dates an 18year old guy, it is illogical to think such guy would be ready in 6years time. If a lady is caught in this situation, she needs to be more patient or move on if it is taking longer than she can bear.
  • Another reason is some guys lack the maturity required to settle down. This has nothing to do with age. It is more of a personal thing. Some guys just enjoy the feeling of being unattached. Thing is such behaviour is recognisable, if he doesn't want to meet your family or make you meet his. If stuck with a guy like this, giving him an ultimatum might just be the wake up call he needs. If he doesn't change however it is best to move on .
On the whole, what makes a guy propose is forty percent the right woman and sixty percent the right time. This means that it is not a girl's fault sixty percent of the time. We all have our flaws as human beings. Don't blame yourself over a perceived denial by a man who probably has issues of his own stopping him from making up his mind. If you find you want more from a relationship than your partner is ready to give, then evaluate the situation, talk about it, give him sometime if the situation looks redeemable, move on if not. Your hapiness is vital and you must seek it in all you do. Time invested is never enough reason to endure a relationship that is going nowhere.


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