Thursday, February 27, 2014

Single Lady, What Do You Have To Prove?

This is not another post asking how far you have gone with your life and what list of milestone achievements you have trailing behind your name. It is not about your character either- perhaps you  feel the need to prove yourself in your academics, your workplace....all well and good but that's not what I am concentrating on.

This is about relationships and the increasing need most women feel to prove themselves desirable and lovable and perhaps even marriage-able. These days, many relationships are not built on the traditional "Man chases woman, woman acts like she's not interested, she finally agrees to a friendship while she seeks the face of God, man pulls all the stops to get woman- send her flowers, call her first thing in the morning, support her dreams, advice her when she's down, prays with her, prays for her until eventually, woman agrees, man feels lucky and overjoyed"....and well you know the rest. The new trend is:

'Man chases woman, woman falls for man and lets him know the feeling is mutual (which is not a bad thing). Man feels lucky but however, becomes aloof. Woman gets scared she might lose man; woman pulls all the stops to keep man interested- she cooks his meals, cleans his apartment, washes his clothes and against her wish, entertains his batalion of friends that have made his apartment a cafeteria. At the end of the day, it's time for sex. After a few months, man gets bored and moves on to someone that doesn't cook, clean or entertain anyone at her own detriment. Woman gets heartbroken, spirit-broken and soul-broken...."After all I did to show him I'm wife material?" She says in regret.

Dear single lady, first and foremost, you should know that you don't have to prove anything to anyone besides the fact that you are a lady of good character- which isn't really something you have to prove, it shines through your personality. Cooking, cleaning and having sex with a man to show him you are the type of woman he should settle down with is never a good idea. Yes, many will say they got their man that way and he hasbn't changed one bit! But with the increasing number of devourers out there, I'd be very careful if I were you.

I'm not saying it's wrong to occasionally cook dinner and invite him over or to cook lunch while you are with him at his apartment but note that you are not his wife so you don't have to act like one. You are not his slave either so don't mop the floor with yourself. Believe that you deserve a better kind of love- one where you are treated with respect and love and not like a pinata that can be 'beaten' by all his friends and himself.

You don't have to go out of your way to prove you are a wife; a man that is deserving of you will see it from the way you carry yourself, the way you act around others and above all, the way you relate with God. Don't be anyone's door mat. You are a princess and it's not because you've found a prince. It's because your father is a KING! Start acting like one!

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