Friday, February 28, 2014

How To Deal With Difficult People

We have all had our encounters with people whom we have tagged as difficult. While sometimes, people aren't as difficult as they seem, I can't help but notice there are some people that are just determined to suck the happiness out of your day or irritate you till you feel like walking out of your own skin. 

There is that boss that is difficult to please, selfish and way too controlling, there is that colleague that acts like all is well but updates vague statuses about you on facebook, there is that friend that is just too judgemental and can't hide the green monster that emerges when you tell him or her about any of your achievements and of course that acquaintance that just gets in the way of everything that is important to you.

Dealing with difficult people can be hard and sometimes exasperating but who says it is impossible? I once had the displeasure of having to 'deal' with a difficult colleague; I put 'deal' in quote because I had to come to terms with the fact that she was difficult and I couldn't act like it was fictional. I had to face it head-on and come up with the best way to handle the unpleasant situation in which we both found ourselves. Here are some tips I'd like to share:

  • Maturity is key: In order to deal with a difficult person, maturity is a key requirement; as an immature person, you tend to wear your emotions on your sleeve and would most likely lash out under unpleasant circumstances; being mature howver gives you  a new outlook. It gives you a certain calmness that might even surprise you yourself. I have been surprised many times by my calmness in situations that could have had me flying off the handle years ago. 
  • Silence is golden! How many times haveyou heard that? Well, do you put it to good use? Silence can never be misquoted! It is important to keep quiet when dealing with a difficult person face to face, especially when that person is of higher authority. If you have pent up anger, go jogging, punch a bag but do not speak otherwise you might regret your words for life.
  • Take the bull by the horn! As golden as silence is, sometimes it just doesn't work. If dealing with a difficult colleague or friend, it is good to just lay it bare and talk about it. I don't mean yelling and screaming; mature individuals don't throw tantrums because they are upset but a candid conversation can lighten your heart and turn things around for the better. Most difficult people are controlling and have the desire to control anything and anyone because they lack self-esteem. You should not be the pinata they beat up when their urge to control rises. Let them realize in a calm tone that you are not a door mat, be pleasant, be friendly but don't be a mop.
  • Pray! Sometimes, dealing with a difficult person will require you going to God for wisdom on how to handle such a person. Yes! Some people are that difficult. There is something about prayer that calms you down and sort of dissipates any anger building up. It helps if you pray for that difficult person too!


  1. Thank u I just needed to hear this.

  2. I'm glad I ministered to you anonymous!

  3. Good points! may I just suggest praying first?

  4. Thank you for the article! I especially liked the emphasis you placed on simply being mature, and how if we all will just act like adults, it will all go a lot smoother. Here is a link for a really good article I read about the power of forgiving others who may have wronged us.


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