Sunday, August 2, 2015

Six Types of Women Men Should Avoid

A long time ago, I wrote a post about five types of men women should avoid. If you’d like to read it, click here. Since writing that post, I have come to realize that good women are not the only ones who get messed up; good guys tend to fall into the wrong hands too.

Sometimes, it’s due to a lack of experience- not knowing what signs and character traits to look out for. And sometimes it’s due to sticking to obsolete norms that no longer work in the 21st century society. Here are six types of women single men should avoid falling prey to.

The un-reciprocator: Yes, I made that word up. Yes, you should know what I mean by this. I know that many times the world preaches love that gives and expects nothing in return. In relationships, that is simply a no-no. You cannot keep investing in a woman who does not see it fit to invest in you. You cannot keep giving and giving without expecting any form of gesture that shows she acknowledges, respects and is keen to show you how much she cares too. She might not be able to meet up with your gestures in size, but the effort should be there. 

The un-reciprocator can fast become a serial cheater. It is very easy to cheat on a relationship where they have not invested anything, because they have nothing to lose. Such women are often self-absorbed, and cannot be bothered about the sacrifices you make at your own detriment. A woman who does not reciprocate your love for her, even in small gestures is just not into you!

The un-interested wallet drainer: I absolutely love gifts so I do not preach against splurging (when you can afford it). What I have discovered however is that many young men do not pay attention to the attitude of the women they are splurging on. If you are spending money on her, and she can’t be interested enough to ask what you do, if you save, or if you have any investments, then you have fallen prey to someone who’s only there to ride the wave. 

Any woman who truly cares for you will also care about your finances. She’ll ask questions like “can you afford this babe?” or once in a while say things like “instead of spending all that money, why don’t we rent a DVD, make some popcorn at home and just hang out?” Sadly many young men these days see such women as boring cheapskates who do not know how to enjoy life. Well, the truth is if you are splurging on a woman who only sees the money, and doesn’t care about where it comes from, or if any of it will be left afterwards, don’t be surprised if she vanishes into thin air when your chips are down.

The ‘mightier than thou’ woman: Contrary to what many men believe, accomplished women who enjoy their success are not the enemy. Women who put their men down are! I know of women who gladly say things like “I’m doing him a favor; better men are after me” right in the presence of their men! I understand the need to look beyond a person’s flaws, but when a person makes it clear that they’re doing you a favor by being with you, it’s time to raise your hands, wave them, and get going! No one, male or female should be made to feel like they are being pitied by their spouse. 

I often preach against this for women, and now I’m preaching against it for men. Yes, your woman should enjoy her success, she should enjoy your support in all her endeavors and delight in the fruits of her labor, but in all of these, she should not put you or your family down in any way! Any woman, who looks down on your background, your family or continually diminishes your person by saying things that are detrimental to your reputation and individuality, is not worth your energy. Keep such a woman at bay.

The Marriage seeker: I’ll keep this short and simple. There are many women who want marriage much more than they want the man. To them, a man, any good man will do, as he is just a means to an end. Be careful. I know society preaches these short courtships where you both look like you know what you are doing so you get married within a matter of months, but I’ll tell you now not to fall for that ‘speed of light’ kind of dating. 

Sadly, many men get hot and bothered when they meet strong women who are so secure in themselves, they are not whimpering over the thought of getting married and trying to manipulate their way into it. These are the women you should be with - the ones whose identities do not depend on whether or not you pop out a ring. Beware the marriage seeker can fast become a dramatic stalker should you fail to mention marriage within the first few months!

The slacker: I am yet to understand how some men think a woman should be totally dependent on them for her dreams, her identity and her direction in life. A woman who is 100% dependent on you for her identity is not necessarily with you because she wants you! She's with you because she needs someone, anyone, and you just managed to be available and able to provide her with what she needs. 

If you want to have a happy relationship, you need a woman who takes initiative, a woman who has dreams of her own, and works hard to see them come to fruition. Beware! The slacker is most times also a marriage seeker, an un-reciprocator, and an uninterested wallet drainer.

The Immature Drama Queen: This is the last but certainly not the least. I have met my share of annoying men, but oh my! Annoying women exist too! Some people can test your patience and make you wonder if Job in the Bible was actually real. The woman who blows everything out of proportion and continually makes references to issues that have been sorted and ought to be forgotten will eventually become too much to handle. 

Beware of the woman who picks unnecessary fights. Beware of the woman who sulks when she ought to speak, and who believes you need drama to make the relationship interesting. The only thing anyone, male or female, needs in a relationship is peace of mind. If she doesn’t give you that, then there’s no point.

Any more? Do share! 

XOXO

2 comments:

  1. This is a very powerful piece! And its true, many good men get screwed over by such women...!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sadly, many men don't think to look out for these traits!

      Delete

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