The fear of the unknown is the real devil. As humans we could
get really entrenched in terrible situations and be reluctant to come out
for fear that it could be darker outside or not knowing just where to go.
The Diamond Bank advert always gets me. I love their catchy
selling sentence of ‘you need a new bank’. I find it interesting because it can be applied in many areas of our everyday lives. Like if you are
always complaining about your job despite your great wealth of experience and
qualifications, then, someone needs to remind you that ‘you need a new job’.
This also means if you are in a really bad relationship, you
need to be reminded it isn’t supposed to be the end of you. There are times you
need to pull the plug on your relationship so you can make much needed
progress.
Listed below are such instances;
·
If your partner abuses you verbally,physically
or emotionally: Abuse creates a deep hole of pain,hurt and insecurity. If you
are caught in an abusive relationship of whatever form, the smart thing to do
is to leave. God forbid you become that dead person in the news or that crazily
depressed and insecure lover. Just before things get too bad, please talk to
your legs honey, and leave fast. You are no psychotherapist, your abusive
partner has has issues that are deeper than you probably can handle. I know it
is confusing seeing how sober he/she gets after each meltdown but you can’t
keep walking on eggs calculating what the next trigger could possibly be. Dead
bodies don’t talk. End that relationship now before it becomes the end of you.
·
If you are not sexually attracted to your
partner: Many of us start relationships hoping the attraction comes along the
line, but there is a high probability that it wouldn't. Our parents or those
before them might have been able to stay in relationships despite not feeling
attracted to the individual but it still doesn’t in any way downplay the role
of physical attraction. It all boils down to incompatibility. To avoid future
unhappiness and infidelity, it is advisable to quit that relationship now
before it gets deeper. In a balanced relationship, physical attraction plays a major part.
·
If your partner can’t make up his/her mind about
commitment: There is nothing nice about the hot and cold lover. Even God
doesn’t fancy such people. You need to know if you are both on the same page. It could be hard to leave a familiar territory
for a not so familiar one and that is probably one of the reasons people stay
back in some relationships that they are better off without. How can one be in
her 30s and still be waiting on her on and off lover of over seven years to
propose. If he is getting cold feet, just move on and stop mourning the time
and energy you have expended. Don’t be scared to break free, there is so much
healthy love out there you deserve to enjoy.
·
If your partner is a chronic cheat: Many things happen in relationships and people sometimes make mistakes. Forgiveness can be an option when you weigh the circumstances coupled with a truly repentant person. But it is a total disservice to oneself when you allow an habitual cheat in your life.I know love
sometimes make people feel like they have superpowers that could make them
conquer the world, but when you have an unrepentant cheat as a partner, there
is no amount of love that can conquer that habit. You need to leave that relationship,
else, you’d end up with more than a broken heart and STDs , you'll end uo with something worse.
·
If your partner’s aspiration are different from
yours:You need to be each other’s
major cheerleaders. As emotional creatures, the support of our loved ones
matter a lot to us. If you don’t believe in each other’s dreams, then there is
bound to be a major disconnect which might crash the relationship in future.
I
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