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| Image credit: www.datemypet.com |
First dates can make anyone a
nervous wreck! And it sure does not help if the person you’re meeting is a
blind date. You won’t know what to expect, or even what to wear. What will you
speak about? What if you end up having nothing to speak about? There are a lot
of what-ifs on a first date, even when you know who you are meeting. I have
suffered through first dates where the only good thing was the food, and I once
walked out on a date when the conversation began to head south, because I
couldn’t deal! Yeah you can send me an email later to tell me how I was so
wrong, but in the meanwhile, here are my top five DON’Ts on a first date
· Don’t show up dressed like you’re going to a
shop across the street: I find it absolutely RUDE for anyone to show up on a
date like they’ve just been dragged out of bed, or out of a deep dark hole in a
mine. It’s a first date, and you’ll never get a second chance to make a good
first impression, so put some effort into your appearance. Don’t arrive in your
fluffy indoor slippers as I once saw a girl do at the cinemas (I am not
kidding), and guys don’t arrive in your faded t-shirt and jeans that barely fit
your waist. Yes, except you are meeting a sixteen year old, don’t arrive with
pants sagging, chains dangling and t-shirts with senseless inscriptions. Even
sixteen year-olds these days don’t find that attractive, so don’t do it with a
twenty-something. Which leads to my next point
· Don’t over-do your outfit: some women are
well-known for putting all their goodies on display on the first date, without
understanding that this sends the wrong “I’m a one night stand type of girl”
message across. This is not to say you should wear an ankle-length turtle neck
dress, as I almost did once when I was set up on a blind date with a
conservative lawyer. You should be halfway between comfortable and stylish.
Guys, there’s no need to wear Gucci shoes, a Gucci belt and a Gucci hat all in
one outfit. Yes, we know you can afford all the designers on the market, but smart
casual will most likely put your date at ease with you without her being
distracted by all the patterns on your designer items. Keep it simple, except
the location of the date dictates otherwise.
· Don’t be mute: I have suffered through enough
first dates to know sitting at the other end of the table, trying to act like a
person who doesn’t have a tongue just makes the date an excruciating experience
for the other person, so don’t do that. Yes, you want to make a great first
impression, but keeping mute the entire date, and simply nodding in agreement,
or shaking your head in disagreement will not aid your mission, so please
speak! Ask questions, make contributions, make funny statements, share some of
your experiences on a subject matter, share your interests, your hobbies,
speak! Don’t just sit there silently. This is one of the reasons I don’t think
seeing a movie at the cinemas is a good idea for a first date! People hardly
get to know each other, and if they have dinner afterwards, they may end up
speaking about the movie and reliving their favorite moments instead of
learning about each other.
· Don’t talk about your ex the entire date: One
question that may come up during the course of the first date is how your last
relationship ended. Sum it all up in three sentences; don’t tell a whole
episode of scandal, big bang theory and game of thrones all rolled into one. Not
only will you bore your date, and appear to be self-absorbed, you will give the
impression that you have not moved on from your ex, hence you are not ready for
something new. By the way, don't start talking about marriage and children either! A first date is a trial run, and your date is just getting to know you. Chances are they'll think if you are so ready to discuss marriage with a person you barely know, you'd probably marry anyone.
Don’t ‘phob’ your date! A phob is a phone snob – a person who stays glued their electronic devices in spite of the presence of a human being before them. If you’re out on a date, it’s not the time to start checking your messages or checking people’s updates on facebook! It is not the time to check WhatsApp or post a picture of your food on Instagram. Pay attention to your date; keep that phone on silent! If it’s an important call, take it, but apologize.
Image credit: blog.pof.com
All in all, let your date feel special and you’re most
likely to get a second date, and perhaps many more! XOXO
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