Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Five Things You Shouldn't Do On a First Date

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First dates can make anyone a nervous wreck! And it sure does not help if the person you’re meeting is a blind date. You won’t know what to expect, or even what to wear. What will you speak about? What if you end up having nothing to speak about? There are a lot of what-ifs on a first date, even when you know who you are meeting. I have suffered through first dates where the only good thing was the food, and I once walked out on a date when the conversation began to head south, because I couldn’t deal! Yeah you can send me an email later to tell me how I was so wrong, but in the meanwhile, here are my top five DON’Ts on a first date

·       Don’t show up dressed like you’re going to a shop across the street: I find it absolutely RUDE for anyone to show up on a date like they’ve just been dragged out of bed, or out of a deep dark hole in a mine. It’s a first date, and you’ll never get a second chance to make a good first impression, so put some effort into your appearance. Don’t arrive in your fluffy indoor slippers as I once saw a girl do at the cinemas (I am not kidding), and guys don’t arrive in your faded t-shirt and jeans that barely fit your waist. Yes, except you are meeting a sixteen year old, don’t arrive with pants sagging, chains dangling and t-shirts with senseless inscriptions. Even sixteen year-olds these days don’t find that attractive, so don’t do it with a twenty-something. Which leads to my next point

·      Don’t over-do your outfit: some women are well-known for putting all their goodies on display on the first date, without understanding that this sends the wrong “I’m a one night stand type of girl” message across. This is not to say you should wear an ankle-length turtle neck dress, as I almost did once when I was set up on a blind date with a conservative lawyer. You should be halfway between comfortable and stylish. Guys, there’s no need to wear Gucci shoes, a Gucci belt and a Gucci hat all in one outfit. Yes, we know you can afford all the designers on the market, but smart casual will most likely put your date at ease with you without her being distracted by all the patterns on your designer items. Keep it simple, except the location of the date dictates otherwise.

·     Don’t be mute: I have suffered through enough first dates to know sitting at the other end of the table, trying to act like a person who doesn’t have a tongue just makes the date an excruciating experience for the other person, so don’t do that. Yes, you want to make a great first impression, but keeping mute the entire date, and simply nodding in agreement, or shaking your head in disagreement will not aid your mission, so please speak! Ask questions, make contributions, make funny statements, share some of your experiences on a subject matter, share your interests, your hobbies, speak! Don’t just sit there silently. This is one of the reasons I don’t think seeing a movie at the cinemas is a good idea for a first date! People hardly get to know each other, and if they have dinner afterwards, they may end up speaking about the movie and reliving their favorite moments instead of learning about each other.

·    Don’t talk about your ex the entire date: One question that may come up during the course of the first date is how your last relationship ended. Sum it all up in three sentences; don’t tell a whole episode of scandal, big bang theory and game of thrones all rolled into one. Not only will you bore your date, and appear to be self-absorbed, you will give the impression that you have not moved on from your ex, hence you are not ready for something new. By the way, don't start talking about marriage and children either! A first date is a trial run, and your date is just getting to know you. Chances are they'll think if you are so ready to discuss marriage with a person you barely know, you'd probably marry anyone.

 Don’t ‘phob’ your date! A phob is a phone snob – a person who stays glued their electronic devices in spite of the presence of a human being before them. If you’re out on a date, it’s not the time to start checking your messages or checking people’s updates on facebook! It is not the time to check WhatsApp or post a picture of your food on Instagram. Pay attention to your date; keep that phone on silent! If it’s an important call, take it, but apologize. 

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All in all, let your date feel special and you’re most likely to get a second date, and perhaps many more! XOXO

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