Tuesday, August 18, 2015

How 21st Century Women are Getting Relationships Wrong!

It is the most difficult century yet to find a husband; many women have already resigned to fate, looking forward to their single years, with no inclination to have a long term relationship that could lead to marriage. Why are things so difficult in the 21st century? Of course it would be easy to point at men and all their shortcomings, but really we ladies also set ourselves up for failure more than we'd like to admit. From my observations, I have come to learn that we ladies of the 21st century have a lot to learn when it comes to building successful relationships, and here I have identified five ways we set ourselves up for failure in relationships. 

We follow the rules of others: If there is one thing I have learned about relationships, it's the fact that no two relationships work out the same way! The fact that Miss A could successfully pull off a long distance relationship doesn't mean you can too. The fact that she handles conflict a certain way with her man, doesn't mean the same rules will work for you. I just think women are too lazy these days to understand their men so they use the rules of others to govern their relationships, yet they wonder why things don't work out the way they expect. Guys are not all the same ladies!

We go in with an agenda: What happened to good old friendship and building a foundation with a person? These days many women go into a relationship simply for what they can get out of it- the status, the admiration of others and perhaps the money. Don't get me wrong; it's nice to have all those things, but they should not be the reason you choose to be with a person. It's no surprise that young women walk out of marriages for no reason these days! So many women get disappointed after sealing the deal because they realize that what seemed to be the opulent and ostentatious lifestyle they expected to have is not all it seemed to be from the outside. 

We act like wives before we become wives; I think this is the biggest flaw of the 21st century woman. For some reason I cannot comprehend, many women feel the need to prove themselves worthy of marriage. They go out of their way to act likeable and try as much as possible to fit the virtual image of a wife. They do all the chores, cook meals, do the laundry and try to establish themselves as wives worthy of a ring. if you're one of those women, stop it now! Stop trying to prove you are worth marrying. A guy already knows if he wants you forever whether you prove your worth to him or not. Stop trying to mould yourself into what you believe a wife should act like. Not only does this put strain on you, it puts strain on the guy too! All of a sudden, his fun happy girlfriend is only talking about practical couples stuff, when they could be planning a weekend away and talking about weird stuff. Stop arriving at his place like you are on a sanitary mission; I don't understand women who arrive and head straight to the kitchen to clean the dishes. Except you have OCD like me, it's not cool! (By the way, I clean up at my female friends too, because untidiness and my peace of mind are just parallel lines). Stop taking the fun out of the relationship with your 'wifeliness' (yes that's a fake word, but you get the point). 

We get too comfortable; This is what happens when women act like wives before they even get a proposal. Yes, your man should love your natural unretouched beauty; but he doesn't have to deal with that every single day. Put some effort into your appearance. Makeup is not a crime against your originality; it's there to enhance your features. Invest in looking after yourself; keep your skin in good condition, do your hair, keep your nails clean, put on clean clothes, invest in fragrances; just make an effort in every way! Don't get too comfortable with not putting in any effort. At least let him know you still want to be admired as he did when he first met you. 

We turn a blind eye when we shouldn't; There are character traits in some men that you would rather not put up with, but simply because all your friends or some celebrities on Instagram are putting up with it, you decide it's OK to deal with the drama that comes with it. Well, STOP!  Stop turning a blind eye to things that break or hurt your feelings. Stop going with the flow or hoping for change. Stop trying to change a man; he's called a man for a reason! He's not a toddler or an adolescent. He's a man- a man who is set in his ways, whom only God can change. Stop stringing yourself along for a relationship that does not add any value to your life. 



  1. "Stop arriving at his place like you are on a sanitary mission" LMAO!!!

    Great post.

  2. "Stop arriving at his place like you are on a sanitary mission" LMAO!!!

    Great post.

  3. Applause Demi.... Spot on... God bless u


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