Thursday, November 8, 2012

Born to be Mrs.

"Ijeooooooooma! What's that smell?"
"Is this how you will be burning food in your husband's house?"
...If I had a dollar for every time I heard that as a teenager...
Then the older you get its ..."Don't do this! If not, no man will marry you"

Sadly if we look at Nigerian society and culture, it teaches women to have such little self esteem eg bride price even men have such little value for themselves beyond how much money they make. It is not the best environment (character wise) to be growing up in.

Venus and Serena Williams were in Nigeria last week, they started playing tennis at 5 years old and have won the most gold medals of any tennis players as a duo. Katie Ledecky is 15, she won Olympic gold in the London Olympics and broke the world record for 800-meter freestyle, breaking the American record that Janet Evans set 22 years ago.

Many parents are more interested in their child being the best dressed at the party, having the cutest hairdo. This makes our daughters shallow and more self conscious. Why? So they will be admired? Admired by whom? Are we unconsciously throwing our girls into the dating game? I hope not...

While teaching them to become domestic and elegant let's also teach them to serve God by serving humanity. Visiting orphans, buying books for children in public schools, taking beverages to strangers in hospital who can't afford it. Quality education is the best way to promote self esteem and self respect. Have them learn a new language, engage in sports or a useful skill. Self development breeds self confidence. Thereby reducing the future number of young ladies rushing into marriage for the purpose of validation who often end up in abusive relationships..

The term Mrs. should not be used as a tool to elevate social status. It depicts a devoted wife and soon-to-be caring mother. Let's tell them, "You were not born to be Mrs. You were born for God's glory".

Psalm 138:8 - The Lord will fulfil his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever.

Ijeoma Olujekun


  1. I disagree, those phrases "No man will marry you" and "Is that what you will do in your husbands house?" Are bad. They actually make you want to learn. Are you saying they (our mums) didn't make us good wives? Our culture cenres on making us good wives and mothers but other things should be introduced to girls training. I luuuuuuv the end part " born for God's glory.

    1. Why can't we tell our daughters not to burn food because its a waste of food and gas and that wastes money? Why must it revolve around their future husbands? So many women are physically and verbally abused by men they shouldn't have even married in the first place because they just wanted to be Mrs. Somebody! Thanks, I'm happy you liked the end its the truth.

  2. You didn't mention inheritance, in Igbo culture female children don't inherit from their fathers no matter how rich he is. My aunt is currently in court because her brothers are trying to collect property her mum left for her. Her Dad died when they were young, so their mum made money after her husbands death and trained them and left the property to my aunt who is her first child but because she is female the elders were taking sides with her brothers. The tradition makes girls feel like lesser beings and commodities. But I guess some women love to be treated like commodities...

  3. I'm printing this article and pasting it on my daughters door!

  4. This is on point!

  5. I love the piece to pieces.

  6. Many ladies feel they are incomplete without a husband and that's why they will go to any legnth to get a man. They are yearning for completeness.


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